HELLO 2012! I've been waiting along time for you....

I'm learning to accept that God has a plan and that things are out of my control. I'm learning that when I take the passenger seat and allow God full control of all things, life takes on a whole new meaning. I'm learning He will close doors and get rid of those things that are hurtful. He will protect my heart. He will reveal Himself in miraculous ways. He will open doors at the right time. He will place amazing people in my life that I would have never expected and remove ones that I may not have chosen. God knows what is best for me and I am learning that I must listen to His voice alone in order to go the way in which I am supposed to go. He is good ALL THE TIME!!

I am happier than I have ever been and there are truly no words to describe the joy I am experiencing at this time in my life. God is so good and has blessed me more than I deserve. This year is going to be AMAZING ♥

In my own little corner....

It's perfect.  That was my reaction the day I  viewed the home where the kids and I live.  It was perfect!  For starters, the outside is red.  I love red.  And it's not like lipstick red, but a brick red.  The perfect shade.  It's also a town home and we're the end unit.  Because we're the end unit, we have a side entrance which I LOVE. Our sidewalk is lined with rose bushes making it magical and whimsical for me. I also love cozy!  This home is not too small and it's not too big but it's just right.

Once inside there were several things that confirmed to me that this was the perfect home for us.  Now they may sound silly to you but to me they meant perfection.

For starters, I love Tuscan anything.  I tend to buy decor for my home that has a Tuscan feel. Something about this house had it.  The kitchen was my dream.  It's a small kitchen but it's the right size for me and it's designed as a kitchen should be designed which makes cooking a cinch.  It has gorgeous cabinets and hardware.  Exactly MY taste.  The appliances are black which I LOVE.  They show lots of little fingers prints but I don't care.  The counter top are not granite but have the look of granite.  The color is a mixture of dark and light browns and black.  Behind the stove the wall is covered in copper tiles.  I'm telling you, it is perfect!! I knew when I saw the kitchen, I had to have the house.

After seeing the kitchen (which is typically the first thing I look at in a home) I turned around and noticed a wall paper border around the family room.  As I looked closer, I couldn't believe it.  It almost matched a clock I have that pictures the Eiffel Tower.  I got chills. The light fixture hanging in the dinning area was totally me. Loved it!

As I walked through the first floor I was happy to discover that my bedroom would be...on the first floor.  Not only that but I would have my own bathroom again as well as not one but count them, two closets.  This made me instantly excited because I saw great potential for the walk in closet in my room.  Since it's only me and I don't have a lot of clothes, I decided to use the small closet for my stuff and turn the walk in closet into my "office." It is the perfect office.  It provides me with a quiet place to write which I love.  There's heat and air conditioning as well as a window and it's my own little corner of space.  I'm brought to tears just writing about it.  FOR REAL!

One other thing that may sound silly to some but totally excited me was my bathroom.  I have always, ALWAYS wanted one of those cabinets that goes over the toilet.  It was always a want and never really a need.  It was just not something I could afford.  Guess what?? My bathroom as one of those cabinets. It's perfect!!  

I LOVE my home!  I am beyond thankful for the amazing couple who chose us to live in their home.  After a year of being turned down by every place I applied to because of my poor credit, this couple took a chance.  They took a chance on me and have given me an incredibly blessing.  Not only that but they have extended their generosity to us on more than one occasion in order to help us through our tough time.  It is more and more evident every day that God chose this home for us and I am beyond grateful.

The Next Three Days

Have you ever read the review of a movie you wanted to see and it was not a good one.  Because of the review you end up deciding not to go and see it?  I have a bad habit of listening to the opinion of others.  I've missed a lot of opportunities because of this weakness.

Two years ago a movie was released titled The Next Three Days.  When I saw the previews I knew it appeared to be something I would be interested in seeing.  Then I read the reviews.  No one seemed to be impressed by it and so I decided to save my dollars and wait for the Redbox.

Let me preface with saying that I LOVE movies.  I LOVE going to the movies.  The smells and sounds excite me.  Even more though, I LOVE seeing movies on the big screen verses my little screen at home which means when I've  missed seeing something because I've listened to the opinion of another, I am not very happy.

So last year sometime, when The Next Three Days was released at the Redbox, I snagged it.  I was not overly excited to see it due to the reviews I had read but eager to press play.  You would think this lesson would have been learned a long time ago as this has happened to me more than once, but the reviews were wrong and I LOVED it.  

Here recently it has been available on Netflix for instant watching.  I have probably already watched it ten times just this past week.  Understand though that I do not sit in front of the tv all day.  Even at this very moment as I'm typing this post in my small office, it is playing in the other room.  For some reason, it offers me some sort of hope. In a way, it is a reflection of my past few years.

If you haven't seen it, watch it.  You'll probably understand exactly what I'm talking about once the movie is over.  If you have never been in a situation where all the evidence stacked against you seems true, you may miss my point.  If you have experienced this sort of thing, watch it.  See if it doesn't make you stop, think and give you a little hope.  If you are someone who has pointed a finger against someone for what appeared to you to be truth, I suggest you watch this movie and understand that things are not always as they appear to be.

This movie ends without the truth being revealed to the characters in the movie but the one being accused is "set free."  I believe that God will "set us free" when falsely accused and He will make things right for us in His time but I also believe that those who did not seek out truth, will be left to their consequences as well.  God is fair and just.  He does make all things new for those who seek Him.

Angels Among Us

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2

Pretty sure that I had a visit from an angel while I was working because the whole encounter was just too perfect and right on time.  

I woke up that morning feeling quite defeated.  Knowing after several days of good things happening that it wouldn't last forever, I should have been prepared. I should have been ready for a down day. I've learned that the enemy always attacks when I'm feeling closest to God. That should have served as my red flag.  I should have been on guard and ready for this attack but sadly it took me by surprise.  I've been walking so confident and secure in His plan and His love lately but woke up allowing the whispers of an enemy so vile to enter my head and fill my heart. I just couldn't stand up against the attack. 

It is unusual for me to been seen without a smile on my face or happy for that matter.  This is how I arrived at work on this day.  Unhappy to be there. Sadness in my eyes and defeat in my heart. I was unprepared. I had neglected having my daily conversation with God that morning leaving me open for more attacks.  Honestly, I just didn't care. I felt justified in allowing the enemy to get the best of me.  Come on, I deserve it every once in awhile after all I've been through.  Right?  You know what?  It was okay.  God knew I would have my down day and He had everything in place.

I'm learning that I do not have to be strong all the time.  I'm learning that everyone has weak moments. God knows my heart, He knows where I stand with Him, which means that even in those dark moments, when I'm not feeling it He knows I trust Him. He was prepared for me.

Work that morning was incredibly slow. The store was hauntingly quiet which meant I was alone in my thoughts.  For me, when I'm down, being alone with my thoughts is horrible place to find myself. I end up having conversations in my head with those that I would more than enjoy having a face-to-face confrontation with at some point in time.  However, these conversations are never good and I can be completely honest and say not Christ like either.   These particular conversations only bring me down even more and draw me further from Truth.  This is when I could feel the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart reminding me to take my thoughts captive.  This morning that was easier said than done.

As I was wrestling with the Holy Spirit, I happened to look up and see an elderly woman standing at the counter.  She appeared to be the age of my grandmother.  I took a breath and walked over. I just did not feel like talking.  As I approached her, it was as if she could read my mind.  She looked at me and said, "This store is so quiet. Almost too quiet.  Leaves too much time to think."  I'm sure my jaw dropped.  I was not sure what to say but simply answered with a quiet yes.  From there a conversation developed that continued for an hour.  I did not say much but instead just listened.  From what few details I divulged of my own life, it was as if she knew the rest of my story by what she shared.  

I have experienced those types of situations so many times throughout the past couple of years.  Those moments when I'm feeling the most defeated, God sends a divine appointment. After this encounter, I am even more certain that angels have entertained me on more than one occasion.  God's providential planning is awe-inspiring.  That morning, He took my emotionally drained heart and rejuvenated it through a conversion that was clearly divine.  He is always on time, every time.

After she left, I began sharing with a new coworker of what had just happened.  He too is a Christian and for the next thirty minutes, we talked about Joseph, Esther and Job.  He pointed out pieces of my life that were clearly moments of God working to grow my faith.  It was a remarkable couple of hours at work.

Several months ago when I was hired at this store, I walked out rejoicing because after fourteen years of being a stay at home mom, I was hired on the spot.  With the economy so bad and so many without work, I was given the first job I applied for right on the spot and  I whole heartedly believed that God had given me that job as a way to provide for me financially.  Boy, I have quickly changed my mind. I no longer feel that this job has anything to do with money.  After several longs years of being abandoned by friends, family and a church I trusted, people who had been in my life for years, God has placed me in a position where complete and utter strangers are speaking His truth to me.  I have learned to recognize His voice in the most random circumstances and the most unusual people.  

God knows what we need.  He knows when we need it.  I've stopped worrying about my circumstances because I learned some time ago that He has a plan much greater than anything I can see.  Now I'm learning how to recognize His hand in every situation.  He shows His constant confirmation of His presence in my life almost daily now by those who are willing to be obedient to His voice and speak truth into my life.  

Here's praying that now I will be that obedient one and be available to those around me when they need to hear truth.  May my heart be ready and open to hear His call when He asks me to speak in bold obedience to another who needs to hear truth and find hope.

GOD IS GOOD!

Born to do what??

How do you know that you're born to do something?  How did I know as a young girl that I was born to be a mom?  I think that was instinct and something having to do with being the first born child.  How do I know I'm amazing at it?  Meet my kids!  They are amazing!  If you've been around them you know they love God, have caring hearts and outstanding personalities.  I've spent years teaching them and preparing for them for such a time as this and it is why I know, they are fine.

My kids are strong.  They know truth.  All truth.  They have a discernment that other kids might not always have.  It's not because they have some special gift but it's because I've taught them how to hear or feel the Holy Spirit in their lives.  Even the four year old knows when Jesus is talking to her or teaching her something new.  I know those things have come from my teaching and direction and because of that, I am confident of God's hand upon each of their lives and confident is my success as a mom.

With that being said, how do I know I was born to write.  It's much like how I know I was born to be a mom.  I love it.  I'm passionate about it. It consumes me. Just like I love every step of being pregnant and mom, I love every step of the writing process. I cannot go to sleep at night without spending some time with a pen and paper in my hand or in front of my laptop.  Writing has become an extension of me.  Those who know me best would agree that I express myself best through the written word. I love that I can inspire and encourage others with my words.  It's just like being a mom.  My kids learn and are encouraged by the things that I teach them.  They succeed because of my encouragement. It's like that with my writing. People read what I have to say and are encouraged and inspired.  That's an amazing feeling.

When I was younger, I didn't care much for writing.  I did dabble in writing fiction stories and even won a contest once but I was never passionate about it.  I didn't realize that I had a passion for writing until I figured out what it was that I was passionate about and then the writing began flowing out of me.

I love sharing Christ.  I love sharing my faith.  I love sharing my stories in hopes of helping or encouraging another in need of hope.  I know that God has given me this time of waiting in order to open my heart to great things.  He has something in store for me and is giving me amazing opportunities to help others.  If my situation was not what it is right now, I would not have this opportunity.  I am confident in His time, His plan and His purpose for my life.

In 2001 I wrote two books and a half of another.  Neither are anything that need to be published, worthy of being published or will ever be read by anyone other than those that I allowed to read them but I did it. I know it can be done.  Today I was contacted by a publishing company.  Nothing big,  Someone small who follows me on Twitter. They felt I had something that needed to be shared. Something simple that will allow me to share my stories with those out there who need encouragement and hope.  I'm capable of writing.  I love to write and I know that I have a story to tell about a God who is faithful, loving and full of grace.  God is good and when we wait on Him and follow Him in obedience, He opens doors and gives us great opportunities. Praise God for His unending goodness and faithfulness!!

The Magic of the right kind of Fashion

I LOVED entering back into the working world this past year.  I LOVE my job!  I LOVE the people I work with every day!  I LOVE the confidence it has given me!  
My job may not be the most impressive but it is a blessing and a gift from God.  When there are so many without jobs, it is by far an answer to prayer when a woman has been a mom for fourteen years and is hired on the spot, given the opportunity to work. I am thankful!
Not only am I thankful for the job but am BEYOND thankful for the things being learned.  Today I share with you the secrets I've learned from my small amount of time on the sales floor.

1. People are persnickety! People go to a great deal of trouble to find the perfect fragrance.  I have literally spent an hour with a customer testing every fragrance in the store only to have them walk out purchasing the same fragrance they walked in wearing.
2. Be careful where you purchase your fragrances!  If you are buying it in a cheap in a discount store, chances are it's old and about to expire.  Yes fragrances DO have a shelf life and are removed from high end stores after they have been sitting too long.  This means your local discount stores are getting those left overs and selling them at a lower price.  
3. Many women need to be taught how to apply make-up and what colors look best.  Blue eye shadow does NOT look good on everybody!  Red lipstick cannot be wore by everyone! Blush should not appear as stripes on our cheeks! If you're unsure, visit your local cosmetic counter or call up your local Mary Kay Representative and allow them to teach you the correct application of your cosmetics.
4. Good skin care DOES work!  No one believes I am 36.  I pretty much get that I don't look more than 25 every time I work at the cosmetic counter.  Ladies are always asking what products I use and want those products. The secret to good skin care is not a creme or lotion but instead a tool.  It is called the Clarisonic Mia and it is AMAZING!! (can be found on QVC for an excellent price) It works and though it is pricey, it decreases your need for foundation, moisturizer, and all the other crap we apply to our faces to appear younger saving money in the long run.
5. Women who could be grandmothers or who are should NOT be wearing leggings much less riding boots.  This was pointed out to me by my soon to be fourteen year old. I get we all want to feel younger but seriously ladies, let's wear things that are age appropriate.  It's not classy at all!
6. The handbag we carry is essential to our outfit and speaks volumes to our fashion sense and style.  Picking out a handbag is not always about comfort or practicality.  Our handbag makes a huge statement in regards to our understanding of the latest trends and styles.  Your handbag does NOT have to match your shoes.  That's old school!  Mix it up!  Carry something colorful, metallic or bold!   Something that grabs the attention of others and screams your confident!
7. Jewelry is an accessory.  Yes there are pricey pieces we own and are proud to wear but every fashionista should own some bold fashion pieces to add fun to any outfit.  Big chunky necklaces or bracelets and large rings are always fun and dress up any dingy outfit.
8. Black IS the essential color to have in your wardrobe. Anyone who knows me knows that I have always worn a lot of black.  Something about wearing black made me feel more confident.  This makes Macy's by dream job because our dress code is all black.  LOVE it!  What I've learned is that you wear black and spice it up by just adding some color.  Scarves are amazing!  They come in a variety of styles, colors and textures and add flair to a black top.  You can dress up a plain old black t-shirt by simply throwing a great scarf over your shoulders.  
9. Every woman wants to feel beautiful! I always find something to compliment a female customer about when I'm helping them.  Being a woman who has/had seriously low self-esteem, I know what a small compliment can do.  Every woman is beautiful in their own way.  You just have to help them find it.   It took me a long time to find something about myself that I liked or thought was beautiful but the shopping public has helped me in that way.  Just a small compliment makes my day so I've learned to pay it forward and help other women feel good about themselves.  
10. I can stand in heels for eight hours while working!  This is HUGE for me!  I hate heels.  Yes my feet hurt at the end of the day but by wearing them, my posture is better and my confidence greater! 

I'm sure I could come  up with even more tidbits but ten points work well and leaves the opportunity for another post at another time!

Literary Wonders lead to Life Changing Moments

 We have finally said good-bye to 2011!  Praise the Lord!  It was a rough year and definitely one that I'm glad is over but truly thankful for every lesson learned.


There is so much to I could go on about but I'm going to choose to touch on the incredible highlights and positive memories of 2011 this week.


In 2011, I spent A LOT of time in a variety of different bookstores.  Barnes and Noble, being one,  became a second home for me. I spent countless time sitting on the floor reading through books and having great theological discussions with my best friend. Today I want to share a few of the array of books I have had the privilege of reading this past year.  They are books that have literally changed my life as well as my walk. (You will see a theme as you scan over the books I've read.  I kind of had a favorite author this past year)

• When God Whispers Your Name- Max Lucado
• Do you find it hard to believe that the One who made everything keeps your name on His heart and on His lips? Did you realize that your name is written on the hand of God (Is. 49:16)? Perhaps you've never seen your name honored. And you can't remember when you heard it spoken with kindness. In this book, Lucado offers the inspiration to believe that God has already bought the ticket-with your name on it.
• I started off 2011 with this book in my hand.  It forever changed my view of how God saw me and thought of me.  It was heart changing!
• In the Eye of the Storm- Max Lucado
• Come face-to-face with Jesus when He experienced more stress than any other day of his life aside from his crucifixion. Before the morning became evening, he has reason to weep, run, shout, curse, praise, and doubt. If you know what it means to be caught in life's storms…if you've ever ridden the roller coaster of sorrow and celebration…if you've ever wondered if God in heaven can relate to you on earth, then this book will encourage and inspire you.
• This book should be self explanatory. If Christ endured the cross for me then surely I can endure any hardship and storm without doubting His love and faithfulness.
• He Still Moves Stones_Max Lucado
• Why does the Bible contain so many stories of hurting people? Though their situations vary, their conditions don't. They have nowhere to turn. Yet before their eyes stands a never-say-die Galilean who majors in stepping in when everyone else steps out. Lucado reminds us that the purpose of these portraits isn't to tell us what Jesus did-but rather to remind us what Jesus still does.
• This book was AMAZING!  It inspired me and reminded me that I have a purpose and that God has a plan!
• A Gentle Thunder- Max Lucado
• How far do you want God to go in getting your attention?
  Don't answer too quickly. Give it some thought.
  What if God moved you to another land? As he did Abraham. What if he called you out of retirement? Remember Moses? How about the voice of an angel or the bowel of a fish? A la Gideon and Jonah. How about a promotion like Daniel's or a demotion like Samson's?
  God does what it takes to get our attention.
  It's the message of the Bible. It's the message of this book: the relentless pursuit of God. God on the hunt. God in the search. Peeking under the bed for hiding kids, stirring the bushes for lost sheep. Searching, wrestling, pulling us back to him, over and over again.
  Kind, then stern. Tender and tough. Faithfully firm. Patiently urgent. Eagerly tolerant. Softly shouting. Gently thundering.
  God is the pilot and we are the passengers. Though we may not understand his hand, we can always trust his heart. We can trust him to do what's right.
• This book was amazing!  Sometimes in the middle of our storms it is so loud we become lost.  IT becomes difficult to hear God's voice because of the chaos but I have learned that He will do whatever is necessary in order to get my attention!
• Never Give Up! - Joyce Meyer
• Joyce Meyer is probably better equipped than anyone when it comes to never giving up. She overcame an abused childhood, a bad marriage and extremely limited opportunities to become one of the most popular author/speakers in the world. Joyce Meyer Ministries was the first ministry in America to be headed by a woman, and it's one of the largest in the world. If anyone knows how to hold on to a dream and realize it, it's her. Packed with examples of people who pursued their goals relentlessly, the book profiles nearly fifty individuals who prevailed against all odds. From the builder of the Brooklyn Bridge to the chemists who invented Post-It notes we meet people like Bessie Coleman, an African-American who had to go to flight school in Paris in order to learn how to fly. But she did, becoming the first woman in America to earn her pilot's license in 1920.
• My mom bought me this book three years ago.  For two and a half it sat on my side table where it belonged until God pressed upon my heart the need to dive in and read this book.  Little did my mom know that one day this book would change my faith and  my ability to fight through the strength of Christ and Christ alone.
• And the Angels were Silent- Max Lucado
• In And the Angels Were Silent, one of Max Lucado's most insightful and moving  book ever, he'll lead you from Friday's defeat to Sunday's victory. Like never before, believers and seekers alike will see Christ's passion, sense His power, and hear His promise.
• This book served as a reminder to me that no matter how final things seem to appear, God ALWAYS has the victory!  He alone control all things and is faithful to His promises!!
• In the Grip of Grace-Max Lucado
• SAFE IN HIS ARMS
  LIFE IS FULL OF FUMBLES AND STUMBLES. Fraught with opportunities to make mistakes, occasions to feel guilty, and the drive to "do it yourself." The pressure to be self-sufficient is high, but it isn't the life God offers.
  The way of the world will direct you to try harder and work smarter so that you can take care of yourself and even make yourself successful. But the way of the cross will point toward the place where you stop striving...stop pushing...stop every self-initiated effort—so that you can fall into the boundless, liberating, refreshing grace of God!
  Just imagine being love-driven instead of self-propelled. Imagine abandoning your life to Jesus instead of trying to save yourself. Can you imagine exchanging your fears for the peace that passes understanding? Being relaxed and free instead of stressed out and anxious? If you can imagine enjoying God instead of trying to repay him, then you can imagine grace.
  So go ahead! jump off the cliff of self-sufficiency. Leap out of legalism. Walk off the pier of guilt and condemnation. That's the only way you'll land in the strong arms of the Father who loves you...the Father who catches you—everytime—in the grip of his grace.
• I have spent years living the lie of legalism.  I was beaten down by the condemnation of those around me and lost sight of my Heavenly Father.  I felt I had to live life on my own and without making any mistakes because I thought you had to "earn" love.  I only fell and I fell hard.  Praise God, He was there to catch me!  Praise God, He picked me up and wiped away the tears! Praise God, He has lavished me with His love and grace and given me a new life!
• So You don't Want to go to Church Anymore-Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman
• So this was the only work of fiction I finished all the way through this year and let me just say that out of every book I read, this IS a much read.  If you've been hurt by a church or disappointed by the dealings of what is happening within the walls of your church, you have to read this book.  You will walk away with an entirely different view of God's ideal church.  
• Heaven is for Real-Todd Burpo
• This is a must read as well!  The view of heaven and Jesus through the eyes of a child.  This is a true story written by the father of Colton, a little boy who died and saw heaven.  It brought me to tears but made me excited for heaven!  READ IT!

• Crazy Love-Francis Chan
• God is love.  Crazy, relentless, all-powerful love.  Have you ever wondered if we're missing it? It's crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe—the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor—loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether you've verbalized it yet or not, we all know something's wrong. Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don'ts-it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same. Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything.
• Crazy!  This book is crazy in a good way!  After experiencing the heartache and betrayal of people that I thought loved and cared about me I began to doubt God's love as well.  Thankfully I stumbled upon this book when I read the status of a friend on Facebook and thought I would give it a read.  If you have ever questioned God's love for you then I highly recommend this book!
• How Good is Good enough- Andy Stanley
• Surely there's more than one way to get to heaven? Bestselling author Andy Stanley addresses this popular belief held even among Christians. But believing that all good people go to heaven raises major problems, Stanley reveals. Is goodness not rewarded, then? Is Christianity not fair? Maybe not, he says. Readers will find out why Jesus taught that goodness is not even a requirement to enter heaven - and why Christianity is beyond fair. Andy Stanley leads believers and skeptics alike to a grateful awareness of God's enormous grace and mercy. Good People Go to Heaven...Don’t They? Sure they do. It only makes sense. Actually, it doesn’t really make any sense at all. Smart, educated, accomplished men and women everywhere are banking their eternities on a theory that doesn’t hold water. Chances are, you’ve never really thought it through. But you owe it to yourself to do so.
• I wish I could buy this book and pass it out to everyone.  So many people walk around with the attitude that life isn't fair.  After the misguided Rob Bell book this is a refreshing read that will give you some real food for thought.  Definitely word the read and a great book for churches to hand out to their members