One year

So thankful today for God's faithfulness over the past year. So thankful for this new place in my life and that I'm no longer where I was November 1 of last year. He's brought me so far! I'm so incredibly blessed!!

Honey....

Hmmm...interesting thought don't you think?

Teach our daughters, then our sons.

Truth is truth...

A truth I am teaching my children.  Just because someone tells you something does not mean it is true even if everyone else around you believes it to be true.  There are those in the world who are set out to hurt us.  Those who want to bring about destruction.  Those who are used by the enemy to create chaos and harm simply by lying.  Each day my children are faced with those who would stand in front of their innocent minds and speak untruths to them.  Those people who do not care about the effects they are having on the self-esteem of my children and the way in which my children will one day see themselves.  These are individuals driven by something dark.  Something that lurks in the shadows of this world wanting to devour the good that still exists.  Thankfully as a mom, God has given me the words to speak into the lives of my children in order to help them understand what is true.  I have recited Philippians 4:8-9 many times with my children hoping to instill in them what God's truth says..

 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. ⁹ Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

When they come home confused by the latest tells they have been told, we sit, pray and talk about what we know to be true.  We talk about how they are unconditionally loved by God and that He holds each of them in His hands.  That God has great plans for each of their lives and when they choose to follow Him and not the world, He will do great things with them. It never takes them long to regain proper perspective and to remember all that they know to be true.  That God is good and faithful to those who choose to follow Him.

Words of wisdom

Things I wish I had known when I was younger. This is so true.

The Launch

I have not posted anything is what feels like forever.  Life is moving at such a fast pace and so many exciting things are happening.  God is truly moving in my life and I have never been more aware of His presence.  He  is moving and He is here!!!

This Sunday is the official launch of the church plant that I became a part of six months ago.  I have been given the amazing privilege alongside my best friend and the love of my life not to mention my children to be a part of something that will grow God’s kingdom.  I also have a family.  I finally have a church family and it is something that I have not known in a very long time.  My children have a family.  They are witnessing firsthand what it truly means to be part of a church family. Together we are watching God create something amazing out of a group of ordinary people each with their own story to tell.  My kids have witnessed God move in the life of their mom and have witnessed firsthand God using their mom to share His love with those who do not know Him.  God is blessing me with the unbelievable opportunity of living out my faith with my children.

Our church family

I spent years as a stay at home mom.  I always knew there was more for me but I was part of a group that told me that if I worked outside of the home, I was neglecting my mission field (my children).  I became depressed and knew something in my life was missing.  I have now discovered that I was missing the opportunity to share God with other people.  I was missing the opportunity to share my faith. Over the past year, I have had the opportunity to work and I have loved every moment.  I love my job.  I love the people I work with but most of all I LOVE the opportunity I have daily to share my faith with those I encounter every day.  To me, there is no greater example for my children than to see their mom live out her faith in front of them.  It is incredible.  God has blessed my work and opened many doors for me.  It is such an exciting time in my life. I just cannot explain the joy.  

All this time He has been preparing me for this very moment in my life.  He knew the hard road I would travel and the pain I would endure but He has used every second of it all to prepare me and to grow my faith in Him so that I could be my best for Him.  After years of heartache and abuse, God has taken the ashes of my life and turned them into something beautiful and I cannot get over it.   I know this mountaintop will not last forever and eventually there will be trials again, but how thankful am I that God’s hand is upon my life right now?!?!?!  He has chosen ME and He is using me in a way that brings Him glory!!!  I am so undeserving but so extraordinarily thankful!

The Vow

Lying in bed late one night with Krickitt asleep beside me, I came face-to-face once again with the fact that only God could heal our marriage.  At that point Krickitt and I could hardly be in the same room together without fighting.  And I knew the problem didn’t all lie at Krickitt’s feet.  I needed help.  God was going to have to break me down in order to build me back up into the husband I needed to be for her, and I finally realized that someone else was going to have to help me do it. Staring at the ceiling, hearing and feeling Krickcitt’s steady breathing beside me, I rolled these and other thoughts around in my head.  God, what are you doing with my life?  What you doing with my vow?

I had stood before God and a church full of people and promised to provide for and protect Krisxan Pappas “through times of challenge and need.” I vowed to devote myself to her “every need and desire.” I declared I would be faithful.  I had said those words with such joy and conviction.  I had meant them then, and I would honor them now.  I just didn’t know how.

The Vow, Kim and Krickitt Carpenter

For Mother’s Day, my children gave me the movie The Vow along with the book that inspired the movie.  Let me start by saying, if you have seen the movie, the book is by far better.  Of course, Hollywood took a true-life story and turned it into a hopeless romantic type fairy tale but the book, oh wow, was incredible.  The story of this couple and their faith in God through an enormous storm is more than inspiring.  It is miraculous.  It is the picture of God’s redemption, grace and love.  It is the example of God’s heart and idea for marriage. 

God is a God of second chances.  This story is a great reminder of that.  Sometimes I look at the broken pieces of my life and believe that there could never be healing or hope.  Then I am reminded of great stories throughout the bible in which the most unlikely of candidates are used by God to accomplish great things.  People such as David the shepherd as well as David the King, The Samaritan woman (from the well), and Peter, who denied Jesus three times were all unlikely candidates whom God used for His redemptive purpose. God takes what we see as impossible and He turns those things into the possible for His glory.  Just look at the couple depicted in this movie.  Would they have ever thought when going through their tragic car accident that one day God would use their story to show the world His faithfulness?  It is amazing.  This young married couple experienced several years of hell on earth but in the end, God did an amazing work and is using that amazing work to make Himself known.  Wow.  Just WOW!  He is so awesome that way! 

It causes me to stop and put my own life into perspective.  I have a lot happening right now.  Many battles are still raging but God is doing a work and making Himself known. He is the God of second chances and though there are still battles, He is giving me a second chance at love as well as life.  He is taking two broken people and lavishing His love and grace upon them both to form something that neither ever expected nor experienced.  God is teaching us that He takes all things and works them out for His glory.  God is creating a message within our lives so that we may one day share with others His faithfulness.

Life is so unexpected sometimes. We think we know how a story will end but then God reveals Himself. He reveals an ending that we would have never anticipated. He reveals an ending that leaves us surprised by His faithfulness.  For a while, my story was a horrific mess but God in all of His love, grace and faithfulness picked up ALL the pieces of the tragic mess and turned it into a message of His love, His grace, His hope and His redemption. I used to worry about what others thought about me but now I know who I am in Christ and have experienced God in indescribable ways.  I have seen Him move in my life in ways that others will never know or understand. I have experienced His work in my heart and have heard His voice when He speaks.  I know Him in a way I never have and because of that, I am getting a second chance. I now have a powerful message to share and someone to walk along side with me as I share. It is someone who experienced his own mess and brokenness but also discovered God’s love and grace as well. Oh the amazing ways in which God moves.  So unexpected! I am so looking forward to walking through life with my best friend and love as we share that message of God’s grace and love together with those who need to hear just as we did. 

This article was so beneficial to me and I wanted to share in hopes of  helping others who may have found themselves in destructive relationships. God makes all things new!!!

How to Break Destructive Relationship Patterns

Whitney Hopler
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer

Editor's note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Tim Clinton and Pat Springle's new book, Break Through: When to Give In, How to Push Back: The Moment that Changes Everything (Worthy Publishing, 2012).

Are you caught in a dysfunctional relationship with someone? Perhaps you’re letting others control you, such as by tolerating an abusive marriage or enabling a friend’s addiction because you’re afraid of losing the relationship if you speak up. Or maybe you’re trying to control others, such as by making unreasonable demands on a coworker or rescuing your children when they make mistakes rather than letting them learn from the consequences. Such “one up, one down” relationships are built on power instead of on the trust and respect that God wants people to have for each other.

The good news is that your close relationships don’t have to be painful. If you’re willing to change destructive relationship patterns in your life, God will help you break free from them and enjoy healthy relationships. Here’s how you can break destructive relationship patterns:

Get to know what true love is like. Study how Jesus related to people during His life on Earth to see what true love in action looks like: Jesus neither manipulated nor deceived people, and He never tolerated others trying to manipulate or deceive Him. Instead, Jesus spoke the truth to people and let them freely make their own choices about how to respond. Jesus valued people for who they were rather than for what they could do for Him. Make Jesus your role model for how to relate to all people in your life.

Answer God’s wake-up calls. God will often allow crises to come into your life to wake you up to the fact that one or more of your relationships is dysfunctional and needs your attention to heal. If you’re going through a crisis that’s causing heartache in your life (from a divorce to a financial collapse), ask God what He wants to teach you about your relationships through that crisis. Let your crisis draw your attention to the fact that your unhealthy relationships are actually costing you more than they’re giving you. Decide to begin the process of changing the way you relate to people so you can enjoy more peace in your life.

Repent of idolatrous relationships and choose to love God the most. Realize that any relationships in which you tie your identity to either someone else’s opinion of you or your ability to fix or rescue them reflect the fact that you’ve made that other person an idol in your life. Only God truly has the power to shape your identity or fix or rescue another person. God alone can meet your deepest relationship needs. So confess and repent of idolatry in your life, and move God to His rightful place at the center of your life as the one you love most. Invest more time and energy into nurturing your relationship with God than you do into any other relationship. When God becomes your top priority in life, all of your relationships with people will become healthier as a result. Enjoying a close relationship with God will make you sensitive to any sin (such as destructive ways of relating to others) that interferes with that relationship, and motivate you to grow closer to God every day.

Pray to break relationship strongholds of sin in your life. Ask God to help you identify specific strongholds of sin that are affecting your relationships. Then pray about each of those strongholds, confessing and renouncing the sins that relate to them and exercising your God-given authority over evil. Ask God to release you and the people you’re in relationships with from all negative spiritual forces associated with each stronghold. Thank God and receive the forgiveness He offers you. Follow God’s guidance to make appropriate restitution to any people you’ve wronged through your past sins.

Hold up mirrors of truth and love to your relationships. Evaluate the state of your relationships regularly by considering how well they do or don’t line up with biblical principles, by asking the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom regarding your relationships, and by discussing your relationships with some trusted friends who support your healing process and will speak the truth to you. Each of these practices is like holding up a mirror to relationships so you can see them more clearly from God’s perspective.

Base your identity on your relationship with God through Jesus. When your identity is rooted where it should be – in God’s love for you – you’ll gain the confidence you need to develop a more secure style of relating to others, such as boldly identifying and communicating your thoughts and feelings to them.

Choose to trust wisely. Ask God to give you the discernment you need to know when to trust people and when they’re not worthy of your trust. Decide to trust the most important people in your life to God, who has much more power than you do to help them.

Take responsibility appropriately. Pray for the wisdom to know which responsibilities are truly yours to handle, and which are not. Then take back responsibility for your own decisions from others who have inappropriately tried to control you, and set boundaries to protect yourself from taking on responsibilities that other people should be handling.

Confront people with whom you want to change your relationships. You must speak the truth to people with whom you’ve shared dysfunctional relationships, so you can work to change those relationships for the better. Don’t expect the people you confront to be happy about it; they’ll likely be upset at first and try to convince you to stop your efforts to change your relationship with them. Stay strong, however, and eventually they may learn new, healthier ways of relating to you. Prepare a written agenda for your meetings with people, and focus only on a few major issues in your relationship instead of every way you all have hurt each other. Speak calmly, listen carefully, and clarify what people say to you. Apologize for what you’ve done wrong and ask people to reflect on how they’ve wronged you and pray about what God may want them to do about it.

Pursue forgiveness. Ask the people you’ve hurt to forgive you, and follow God’s command to forgive the people who have hurt you. But keep in mind that, while forgiveness is a gift you give people, people must earn your trust back over time.

Look toward the future with hope. You can be hopeful about the future as long as you remain committed to renewing your mind with thoughts that reflect biblical truth and relating to others in healthy ways. Over time, you can fulfill more of God’s purposes for your relationships.

"There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and be healed, to have despaired and have recovered hope."

George Eliot

Thoughts of my mom

I wrote this on Saturday morning, wanting to post it for Mother's Day but due to a computer malfunction, that did not happen.  Hopefully we can look past it being a day late :-)

This morning I woke up to find my oldest daughter standing over me with a plate of food in her hand.  She had made me breakfast and brought it to me in bed.  Her words were that I deserved breakfast in bed every morning not just on Mother’s Day.  She made my day just a little bit. 

It is in those moments that I realize the job I am doing as a mom and I think I can honestly say I am an excellent mom.  The thing is though that I recognize that I am an excellent mom because I grew up with an excellent mom.  Being a mom is a LOT of work.  Laundry, cleaning, cooking and caring for your kids pretty much consumes the time of a mom. It just does not leave much time for anything else if you want to keep your sanity but somehow my mom did it.  She sang in the church choir, participated in WMU, taught children’s choir, attended bible studies and still had time to take care of us kids while still making time to entertain those who came to visit.  

Now that I am a mom of five kids of my own, I realize the amount of time and energy it takes to not only run a home and maintain other activities but to do those things and still love others while I do it all. It is a ridiculous amount of work but you know what?  That is the love of a mom.  A love that is sacrificial and unconditional.  A love that is not critical. Not every mom loves in this way but I am so incredibly thankful to God, that He chose me to have a mom like the one that I have. I learned to love by watching my mom and now my kids are learning too.  They are learning that there is so much more to life then themselves.  They are realizing that there is so much more joy in loving and serving others than being focused only on themselves.

Back to my mom. Though she was busy with kids and activities, she managed still to have a sweet loving spirit.  My mom dealt with many critical people in her life.  She is not perfect and can be critical at times (as we all can) but she was never critical to the extent at which I believe certain people deserved from her. She has dealt with people who spent much time putting her down and making her feel less than she was but here is what I know, she is SO much greater than those critical people are in her life.  When people were critical to my mom, she stayed quiet.  She has chosen to keep silent a lot when she has been hurt or criticized. She has taken the high road and chosen not to repay evil with evil.  Whether she wants to admit it or not, she is why I have stayed silent for the past few years while my character was trampled.  I learned from watching her, whether she realized it or not, that it is not our place to “put someone in their place” but instead it is God’s place.   God is doing amazing things in my life that He could not have done if I had chosen to stand on my soapbox setting the record straight on why I have been wronged instead of giving Him the room to work.  I would have been working against what He was trying to accomplish in my life and the lives of others.  All of this, I learned from my mom. 

God is a big God.  He so does not need us to fight His battles.  There are so many critical and hateful people in the world that would rather put down and hurt others instead of loving people and allowing God room to do His work.  I am thankful for a mom who chose to stay silent when attacked and instead she allowed God to work through her situations and teach her as she sat still before Him.  I have chosen to follow her lead and to focus my love and attention on loving my God, my children and others so that God can do His work in my life. This is what I pray my children are learning from watching their mom as this is what I learned from watching my own mom. 

Thank you God for my amazing mom! Thank you mom for being my greatest advocate and for believing in me when others did not.  That is most definitely the LOVE of a MOM!

The Lucky One

In 2008, Nicholas Sparks released the book The Lucky One.  I being a huge Nicholas Sparks fan bought the book.  Thankfully, I did not get far into the book before putting it down, never to finish the story.  There was a reason.  This past weekend, I journeyed to the theater with excitement to see the book I never finished turned movie.  I am a sucker for a good chick flick and Spark’s never disappoints.  This time though, I found a movie very difficult to watch.  It was extremely familiar. Throughout the movie, I bit my lip fighting back tears and spent much of the movie sick on my stomach.  In the end, there was a happy ending as love prevailed but it just did not settle well for me.  

Life is a journey.  We all face battles.  We have great hills to climb. What I am learning though is that through those battles, there come unexpected blessings.  It is crazy to see how the worst of things can happen in our lives and yet God will take those things and mold them into something incredibly beautiful.  I am a testimony to His great artistic abilities and His amazing divine power.  I have been given much.  In so many areas of my life, I would consider myself beyond blessed.  Some would call it luck. I truly do feel like the lucky one however, to me, luck is nothing but instead the great blessing of Living Under Christ’s Kindness.  He has given me all that I have and I recognize that these blessings in disguise are the work of a mighty God whose grace is more than I can understand and greater than I even deserve. 

Love just needs to be true

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. 

   Love never gives up. 
   Love cares more for others than for self. 
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. 
   Love doesn't strut, 
   Doesn't have a swelled head, 
   Doesn't force itself on others, 
   Isn't always "me first," 
   Doesn't fly off the handle, 
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 
   Doesn't revel when others grovel, 
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 
   Puts up with anything, 
   Trusts God always, 
   Always looks for the best, 
   Never looks back, 
   But keeps going to the end.


1 Corinthians 13:1-7 The Message

Back to where I started

Reflection.  It is a good thing.  We all need to take time to reflect back on choices whether good or bad that we have made in our lives as they all lead us to the moment in which we find ourselves now.  

In the spring of 1993, I made a decision to attend Liberty University.  I had originally planned on going to my local community college but that spring, God stirred something within me and my plans changed.  Each step in regards to going to school fell into place and in the fall of 1993, I moved into a dorm and began a journey.  

Within the first couple of weeks of school, I found myself in my first grown up storm.  I was involved in a horrible car accident that put me in the hospital for a week due to a collapsed lung.  I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. It was terrifying as I recognized I could have been killed.  I remember hearing later that my granddaddy had gone to the junk yard to see my car and could not believe that I had survived.  I remember realizing that God had a plan for my life.

My freshman year of college was full of heartache and joy.  I made amazing friends and created memories that to this day I still smile when still think about them.  I had dreams.  I wanted to be something someday.  God was trying to work in my life.  I was trying to listen.  I wanted to listen.  One Wednesday at convocation, Dr. Falwell preached a sermon that left me yearning for a more intimate relationship with Christ.  The Word of God became alive and real to me that day and I wanted more.  I totally missed the mark. My problem, I turned to the wrong places/ things.  I did not know where to find Him.  I was new to hearing from God and I made a bad choice.  I dropped out of school.  Out of fear because of my failures, a lack of trust in God and just truly not knowing where to go next, I ran like Moses after he killed the guard.

 

Almost twenty years later, He has brought me back.  I have wandered for almost twenty years in the wilderness.  I have seen Him bless my life.  I have seen Him work in my life as He has grown my faith.  He has taught me to listen to His voice above the chaos and He pulled me from the wilderness and drew me closer to Him. He drew me back to where I started. 

God had a plan for Moses to do great things.  He knew He would use Moses to lead the people out of Egypt but Moses missed the memo and ran away out of fear.  Did this make him unusable to God?  No way.  God did not give up on Moses.  Instead, He waited for Moses to stop wandering and He went after him to finish the work that He began in Moses.  Oh how I need that story of Moses.  I need to be reminded that though I took a detour almost twenty years ago, that God still wants to use me for the purpose in which He created me. 

God does not give up on us.  He sees us as the work that He has created us to be and He knows our full potential. He is just sitting back waiting for us to finally wake up and realize who we are in Him.  So I am now back to where I originally started.  He is now going to finish that work He began in me.  I am setting out to become what He originally had planned for me.  It is my turn to be used and my purpose accomplished because God is good!  ALL the time!

Something to think about...

"Isn't it staggering when you think that one sermon on the day of Pentecost produced 3000 Christian people? And we had some cities yesterday where 3000 sermons were preached and nobody was saved. And it doesn't even faze us. The church used to be a lightning bolt, now it's a cruise ship. We are not marching to Zion - we are sailing there with ease. In the apostolic church it says they were all amazed - And now in our churches everybody wants to be amused. The church began in the upper room with a bunch of men agonizing, and it's ending in the supper room with a bunch of people organizing. We mistake rattle for revival, and commotion for creation, and action for unction. Look, I think this is a critical hour in history, the most critical hour in history; the Middle East is ready to blow up... the prestige of this nation we love has gone down ... As someone said, "We live in a theater of the absurd...
When did you last tiptoe out of the sanctuary when you dare not say a word? The church has to rediscover two things. One, the majesty and the Holiness of God, and the other, the sinfulness of sin." ---Leonard Ravenhill

HELLO 2012! I've been waiting along time for you....

I'm learning to accept that God has a plan and that things are out of my control. I'm learning that when I take the passenger seat and allow God full control of all things, life takes on a whole new meaning. I'm learning He will close doors and get rid of those things that are hurtful. He will protect my heart. He will reveal Himself in miraculous ways. He will open doors at the right time. He will place amazing people in my life that I would have never expected and remove ones that I may not have chosen. God knows what is best for me and I am learning that I must listen to His voice alone in order to go the way in which I am supposed to go. He is good ALL THE TIME!!

I am happier than I have ever been and there are truly no words to describe the joy I am experiencing at this time in my life. God is so good and has blessed me more than I deserve. This year is going to be AMAZING ♥

In my own little corner....

It's perfect.  That was my reaction the day I  viewed the home where the kids and I live.  It was perfect!  For starters, the outside is red.  I love red.  And it's not like lipstick red, but a brick red.  The perfect shade.  It's also a town home and we're the end unit.  Because we're the end unit, we have a side entrance which I LOVE. Our sidewalk is lined with rose bushes making it magical and whimsical for me. I also love cozy!  This home is not too small and it's not too big but it's just right.

Once inside there were several things that confirmed to me that this was the perfect home for us.  Now they may sound silly to you but to me they meant perfection.

For starters, I love Tuscan anything.  I tend to buy decor for my home that has a Tuscan feel. Something about this house had it.  The kitchen was my dream.  It's a small kitchen but it's the right size for me and it's designed as a kitchen should be designed which makes cooking a cinch.  It has gorgeous cabinets and hardware.  Exactly MY taste.  The appliances are black which I LOVE.  They show lots of little fingers prints but I don't care.  The counter top are not granite but have the look of granite.  The color is a mixture of dark and light browns and black.  Behind the stove the wall is covered in copper tiles.  I'm telling you, it is perfect!! I knew when I saw the kitchen, I had to have the house.

After seeing the kitchen (which is typically the first thing I look at in a home) I turned around and noticed a wall paper border around the family room.  As I looked closer, I couldn't believe it.  It almost matched a clock I have that pictures the Eiffel Tower.  I got chills. The light fixture hanging in the dinning area was totally me. Loved it!

As I walked through the first floor I was happy to discover that my bedroom would be...on the first floor.  Not only that but I would have my own bathroom again as well as not one but count them, two closets.  This made me instantly excited because I saw great potential for the walk in closet in my room.  Since it's only me and I don't have a lot of clothes, I decided to use the small closet for my stuff and turn the walk in closet into my "office." It is the perfect office.  It provides me with a quiet place to write which I love.  There's heat and air conditioning as well as a window and it's my own little corner of space.  I'm brought to tears just writing about it.  FOR REAL!

One other thing that may sound silly to some but totally excited me was my bathroom.  I have always, ALWAYS wanted one of those cabinets that goes over the toilet.  It was always a want and never really a need.  It was just not something I could afford.  Guess what?? My bathroom as one of those cabinets. It's perfect!!  

I LOVE my home!  I am beyond thankful for the amazing couple who chose us to live in their home.  After a year of being turned down by every place I applied to because of my poor credit, this couple took a chance.  They took a chance on me and have given me an incredibly blessing.  Not only that but they have extended their generosity to us on more than one occasion in order to help us through our tough time.  It is more and more evident every day that God chose this home for us and I am beyond grateful.

The Next Three Days

Have you ever read the review of a movie you wanted to see and it was not a good one.  Because of the review you end up deciding not to go and see it?  I have a bad habit of listening to the opinion of others.  I've missed a lot of opportunities because of this weakness.

Two years ago a movie was released titled The Next Three Days.  When I saw the previews I knew it appeared to be something I would be interested in seeing.  Then I read the reviews.  No one seemed to be impressed by it and so I decided to save my dollars and wait for the Redbox.

Let me preface with saying that I LOVE movies.  I LOVE going to the movies.  The smells and sounds excite me.  Even more though, I LOVE seeing movies on the big screen verses my little screen at home which means when I've  missed seeing something because I've listened to the opinion of another, I am not very happy.

So last year sometime, when The Next Three Days was released at the Redbox, I snagged it.  I was not overly excited to see it due to the reviews I had read but eager to press play.  You would think this lesson would have been learned a long time ago as this has happened to me more than once, but the reviews were wrong and I LOVED it.  

Here recently it has been available on Netflix for instant watching.  I have probably already watched it ten times just this past week.  Understand though that I do not sit in front of the tv all day.  Even at this very moment as I'm typing this post in my small office, it is playing in the other room.  For some reason, it offers me some sort of hope. In a way, it is a reflection of my past few years.

If you haven't seen it, watch it.  You'll probably understand exactly what I'm talking about once the movie is over.  If you have never been in a situation where all the evidence stacked against you seems true, you may miss my point.  If you have experienced this sort of thing, watch it.  See if it doesn't make you stop, think and give you a little hope.  If you are someone who has pointed a finger against someone for what appeared to you to be truth, I suggest you watch this movie and understand that things are not always as they appear to be.

This movie ends without the truth being revealed to the characters in the movie but the one being accused is "set free."  I believe that God will "set us free" when falsely accused and He will make things right for us in His time but I also believe that those who did not seek out truth, will be left to their consequences as well.  God is fair and just.  He does make all things new for those who seek Him.

Angels Among Us

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2

Pretty sure that I had a visit from an angel while I was working because the whole encounter was just too perfect and right on time.  

I woke up that morning feeling quite defeated.  Knowing after several days of good things happening that it wouldn't last forever, I should have been prepared. I should have been ready for a down day. I've learned that the enemy always attacks when I'm feeling closest to God. That should have served as my red flag.  I should have been on guard and ready for this attack but sadly it took me by surprise.  I've been walking so confident and secure in His plan and His love lately but woke up allowing the whispers of an enemy so vile to enter my head and fill my heart. I just couldn't stand up against the attack. 

It is unusual for me to been seen without a smile on my face or happy for that matter.  This is how I arrived at work on this day.  Unhappy to be there. Sadness in my eyes and defeat in my heart. I was unprepared. I had neglected having my daily conversation with God that morning leaving me open for more attacks.  Honestly, I just didn't care. I felt justified in allowing the enemy to get the best of me.  Come on, I deserve it every once in awhile after all I've been through.  Right?  You know what?  It was okay.  God knew I would have my down day and He had everything in place.

I'm learning that I do not have to be strong all the time.  I'm learning that everyone has weak moments. God knows my heart, He knows where I stand with Him, which means that even in those dark moments, when I'm not feeling it He knows I trust Him. He was prepared for me.

Work that morning was incredibly slow. The store was hauntingly quiet which meant I was alone in my thoughts.  For me, when I'm down, being alone with my thoughts is horrible place to find myself. I end up having conversations in my head with those that I would more than enjoy having a face-to-face confrontation with at some point in time.  However, these conversations are never good and I can be completely honest and say not Christ like either.   These particular conversations only bring me down even more and draw me further from Truth.  This is when I could feel the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart reminding me to take my thoughts captive.  This morning that was easier said than done.

As I was wrestling with the Holy Spirit, I happened to look up and see an elderly woman standing at the counter.  She appeared to be the age of my grandmother.  I took a breath and walked over. I just did not feel like talking.  As I approached her, it was as if she could read my mind.  She looked at me and said, "This store is so quiet. Almost too quiet.  Leaves too much time to think."  I'm sure my jaw dropped.  I was not sure what to say but simply answered with a quiet yes.  From there a conversation developed that continued for an hour.  I did not say much but instead just listened.  From what few details I divulged of my own life, it was as if she knew the rest of my story by what she shared.  

I have experienced those types of situations so many times throughout the past couple of years.  Those moments when I'm feeling the most defeated, God sends a divine appointment. After this encounter, I am even more certain that angels have entertained me on more than one occasion.  God's providential planning is awe-inspiring.  That morning, He took my emotionally drained heart and rejuvenated it through a conversion that was clearly divine.  He is always on time, every time.

After she left, I began sharing with a new coworker of what had just happened.  He too is a Christian and for the next thirty minutes, we talked about Joseph, Esther and Job.  He pointed out pieces of my life that were clearly moments of God working to grow my faith.  It was a remarkable couple of hours at work.

Several months ago when I was hired at this store, I walked out rejoicing because after fourteen years of being a stay at home mom, I was hired on the spot.  With the economy so bad and so many without work, I was given the first job I applied for right on the spot and  I whole heartedly believed that God had given me that job as a way to provide for me financially.  Boy, I have quickly changed my mind. I no longer feel that this job has anything to do with money.  After several longs years of being abandoned by friends, family and a church I trusted, people who had been in my life for years, God has placed me in a position where complete and utter strangers are speaking His truth to me.  I have learned to recognize His voice in the most random circumstances and the most unusual people.  

God knows what we need.  He knows when we need it.  I've stopped worrying about my circumstances because I learned some time ago that He has a plan much greater than anything I can see.  Now I'm learning how to recognize His hand in every situation.  He shows His constant confirmation of His presence in my life almost daily now by those who are willing to be obedient to His voice and speak truth into my life.  

Here's praying that now I will be that obedient one and be available to those around me when they need to hear truth.  May my heart be ready and open to hear His call when He asks me to speak in bold obedience to another who needs to hear truth and find hope.

GOD IS GOOD!

Born to do what??

How do you know that you're born to do something?  How did I know as a young girl that I was born to be a mom?  I think that was instinct and something having to do with being the first born child.  How do I know I'm amazing at it?  Meet my kids!  They are amazing!  If you've been around them you know they love God, have caring hearts and outstanding personalities.  I've spent years teaching them and preparing for them for such a time as this and it is why I know, they are fine.

My kids are strong.  They know truth.  All truth.  They have a discernment that other kids might not always have.  It's not because they have some special gift but it's because I've taught them how to hear or feel the Holy Spirit in their lives.  Even the four year old knows when Jesus is talking to her or teaching her something new.  I know those things have come from my teaching and direction and because of that, I am confident of God's hand upon each of their lives and confident is my success as a mom.

With that being said, how do I know I was born to write.  It's much like how I know I was born to be a mom.  I love it.  I'm passionate about it. It consumes me. Just like I love every step of being pregnant and mom, I love every step of the writing process. I cannot go to sleep at night without spending some time with a pen and paper in my hand or in front of my laptop.  Writing has become an extension of me.  Those who know me best would agree that I express myself best through the written word. I love that I can inspire and encourage others with my words.  It's just like being a mom.  My kids learn and are encouraged by the things that I teach them.  They succeed because of my encouragement. It's like that with my writing. People read what I have to say and are encouraged and inspired.  That's an amazing feeling.

When I was younger, I didn't care much for writing.  I did dabble in writing fiction stories and even won a contest once but I was never passionate about it.  I didn't realize that I had a passion for writing until I figured out what it was that I was passionate about and then the writing began flowing out of me.

I love sharing Christ.  I love sharing my faith.  I love sharing my stories in hopes of helping or encouraging another in need of hope.  I know that God has given me this time of waiting in order to open my heart to great things.  He has something in store for me and is giving me amazing opportunities to help others.  If my situation was not what it is right now, I would not have this opportunity.  I am confident in His time, His plan and His purpose for my life.

In 2001 I wrote two books and a half of another.  Neither are anything that need to be published, worthy of being published or will ever be read by anyone other than those that I allowed to read them but I did it. I know it can be done.  Today I was contacted by a publishing company.  Nothing big,  Someone small who follows me on Twitter. They felt I had something that needed to be shared. Something simple that will allow me to share my stories with those out there who need encouragement and hope.  I'm capable of writing.  I love to write and I know that I have a story to tell about a God who is faithful, loving and full of grace.  God is good and when we wait on Him and follow Him in obedience, He opens doors and gives us great opportunities. Praise God for His unending goodness and faithfulness!!

The Magic of the right kind of Fashion

I LOVED entering back into the working world this past year.  I LOVE my job!  I LOVE the people I work with every day!  I LOVE the confidence it has given me!  
My job may not be the most impressive but it is a blessing and a gift from God.  When there are so many without jobs, it is by far an answer to prayer when a woman has been a mom for fourteen years and is hired on the spot, given the opportunity to work. I am thankful!
Not only am I thankful for the job but am BEYOND thankful for the things being learned.  Today I share with you the secrets I've learned from my small amount of time on the sales floor.

1. People are persnickety! People go to a great deal of trouble to find the perfect fragrance.  I have literally spent an hour with a customer testing every fragrance in the store only to have them walk out purchasing the same fragrance they walked in wearing.
2. Be careful where you purchase your fragrances!  If you are buying it in a cheap in a discount store, chances are it's old and about to expire.  Yes fragrances DO have a shelf life and are removed from high end stores after they have been sitting too long.  This means your local discount stores are getting those left overs and selling them at a lower price.  
3. Many women need to be taught how to apply make-up and what colors look best.  Blue eye shadow does NOT look good on everybody!  Red lipstick cannot be wore by everyone! Blush should not appear as stripes on our cheeks! If you're unsure, visit your local cosmetic counter or call up your local Mary Kay Representative and allow them to teach you the correct application of your cosmetics.
4. Good skin care DOES work!  No one believes I am 36.  I pretty much get that I don't look more than 25 every time I work at the cosmetic counter.  Ladies are always asking what products I use and want those products. The secret to good skin care is not a creme or lotion but instead a tool.  It is called the Clarisonic Mia and it is AMAZING!! (can be found on QVC for an excellent price) It works and though it is pricey, it decreases your need for foundation, moisturizer, and all the other crap we apply to our faces to appear younger saving money in the long run.
5. Women who could be grandmothers or who are should NOT be wearing leggings much less riding boots.  This was pointed out to me by my soon to be fourteen year old. I get we all want to feel younger but seriously ladies, let's wear things that are age appropriate.  It's not classy at all!
6. The handbag we carry is essential to our outfit and speaks volumes to our fashion sense and style.  Picking out a handbag is not always about comfort or practicality.  Our handbag makes a huge statement in regards to our understanding of the latest trends and styles.  Your handbag does NOT have to match your shoes.  That's old school!  Mix it up!  Carry something colorful, metallic or bold!   Something that grabs the attention of others and screams your confident!
7. Jewelry is an accessory.  Yes there are pricey pieces we own and are proud to wear but every fashionista should own some bold fashion pieces to add fun to any outfit.  Big chunky necklaces or bracelets and large rings are always fun and dress up any dingy outfit.
8. Black IS the essential color to have in your wardrobe. Anyone who knows me knows that I have always worn a lot of black.  Something about wearing black made me feel more confident.  This makes Macy's by dream job because our dress code is all black.  LOVE it!  What I've learned is that you wear black and spice it up by just adding some color.  Scarves are amazing!  They come in a variety of styles, colors and textures and add flair to a black top.  You can dress up a plain old black t-shirt by simply throwing a great scarf over your shoulders.  
9. Every woman wants to feel beautiful! I always find something to compliment a female customer about when I'm helping them.  Being a woman who has/had seriously low self-esteem, I know what a small compliment can do.  Every woman is beautiful in their own way.  You just have to help them find it.   It took me a long time to find something about myself that I liked or thought was beautiful but the shopping public has helped me in that way.  Just a small compliment makes my day so I've learned to pay it forward and help other women feel good about themselves.  
10. I can stand in heels for eight hours while working!  This is HUGE for me!  I hate heels.  Yes my feet hurt at the end of the day but by wearing them, my posture is better and my confidence greater! 

I'm sure I could come  up with even more tidbits but ten points work well and leaves the opportunity for another post at another time!

Literary Wonders lead to Life Changing Moments

 We have finally said good-bye to 2011!  Praise the Lord!  It was a rough year and definitely one that I'm glad is over but truly thankful for every lesson learned.


There is so much to I could go on about but I'm going to choose to touch on the incredible highlights and positive memories of 2011 this week.


In 2011, I spent A LOT of time in a variety of different bookstores.  Barnes and Noble, being one,  became a second home for me. I spent countless time sitting on the floor reading through books and having great theological discussions with my best friend. Today I want to share a few of the array of books I have had the privilege of reading this past year.  They are books that have literally changed my life as well as my walk. (You will see a theme as you scan over the books I've read.  I kind of had a favorite author this past year)

• When God Whispers Your Name- Max Lucado
• Do you find it hard to believe that the One who made everything keeps your name on His heart and on His lips? Did you realize that your name is written on the hand of God (Is. 49:16)? Perhaps you've never seen your name honored. And you can't remember when you heard it spoken with kindness. In this book, Lucado offers the inspiration to believe that God has already bought the ticket-with your name on it.
• I started off 2011 with this book in my hand.  It forever changed my view of how God saw me and thought of me.  It was heart changing!
• In the Eye of the Storm- Max Lucado
• Come face-to-face with Jesus when He experienced more stress than any other day of his life aside from his crucifixion. Before the morning became evening, he has reason to weep, run, shout, curse, praise, and doubt. If you know what it means to be caught in life's storms…if you've ever ridden the roller coaster of sorrow and celebration…if you've ever wondered if God in heaven can relate to you on earth, then this book will encourage and inspire you.
• This book should be self explanatory. If Christ endured the cross for me then surely I can endure any hardship and storm without doubting His love and faithfulness.
• He Still Moves Stones_Max Lucado
• Why does the Bible contain so many stories of hurting people? Though their situations vary, their conditions don't. They have nowhere to turn. Yet before their eyes stands a never-say-die Galilean who majors in stepping in when everyone else steps out. Lucado reminds us that the purpose of these portraits isn't to tell us what Jesus did-but rather to remind us what Jesus still does.
• This book was AMAZING!  It inspired me and reminded me that I have a purpose and that God has a plan!
• A Gentle Thunder- Max Lucado
• How far do you want God to go in getting your attention?
  Don't answer too quickly. Give it some thought.
  What if God moved you to another land? As he did Abraham. What if he called you out of retirement? Remember Moses? How about the voice of an angel or the bowel of a fish? A la Gideon and Jonah. How about a promotion like Daniel's or a demotion like Samson's?
  God does what it takes to get our attention.
  It's the message of the Bible. It's the message of this book: the relentless pursuit of God. God on the hunt. God in the search. Peeking under the bed for hiding kids, stirring the bushes for lost sheep. Searching, wrestling, pulling us back to him, over and over again.
  Kind, then stern. Tender and tough. Faithfully firm. Patiently urgent. Eagerly tolerant. Softly shouting. Gently thundering.
  God is the pilot and we are the passengers. Though we may not understand his hand, we can always trust his heart. We can trust him to do what's right.
• This book was amazing!  Sometimes in the middle of our storms it is so loud we become lost.  IT becomes difficult to hear God's voice because of the chaos but I have learned that He will do whatever is necessary in order to get my attention!
• Never Give Up! - Joyce Meyer
• Joyce Meyer is probably better equipped than anyone when it comes to never giving up. She overcame an abused childhood, a bad marriage and extremely limited opportunities to become one of the most popular author/speakers in the world. Joyce Meyer Ministries was the first ministry in America to be headed by a woman, and it's one of the largest in the world. If anyone knows how to hold on to a dream and realize it, it's her. Packed with examples of people who pursued their goals relentlessly, the book profiles nearly fifty individuals who prevailed against all odds. From the builder of the Brooklyn Bridge to the chemists who invented Post-It notes we meet people like Bessie Coleman, an African-American who had to go to flight school in Paris in order to learn how to fly. But she did, becoming the first woman in America to earn her pilot's license in 1920.
• My mom bought me this book three years ago.  For two and a half it sat on my side table where it belonged until God pressed upon my heart the need to dive in and read this book.  Little did my mom know that one day this book would change my faith and  my ability to fight through the strength of Christ and Christ alone.
• And the Angels were Silent- Max Lucado
• In And the Angels Were Silent, one of Max Lucado's most insightful and moving  book ever, he'll lead you from Friday's defeat to Sunday's victory. Like never before, believers and seekers alike will see Christ's passion, sense His power, and hear His promise.
• This book served as a reminder to me that no matter how final things seem to appear, God ALWAYS has the victory!  He alone control all things and is faithful to His promises!!
• In the Grip of Grace-Max Lucado
• SAFE IN HIS ARMS
  LIFE IS FULL OF FUMBLES AND STUMBLES. Fraught with opportunities to make mistakes, occasions to feel guilty, and the drive to "do it yourself." The pressure to be self-sufficient is high, but it isn't the life God offers.
  The way of the world will direct you to try harder and work smarter so that you can take care of yourself and even make yourself successful. But the way of the cross will point toward the place where you stop striving...stop pushing...stop every self-initiated effort—so that you can fall into the boundless, liberating, refreshing grace of God!
  Just imagine being love-driven instead of self-propelled. Imagine abandoning your life to Jesus instead of trying to save yourself. Can you imagine exchanging your fears for the peace that passes understanding? Being relaxed and free instead of stressed out and anxious? If you can imagine enjoying God instead of trying to repay him, then you can imagine grace.
  So go ahead! jump off the cliff of self-sufficiency. Leap out of legalism. Walk off the pier of guilt and condemnation. That's the only way you'll land in the strong arms of the Father who loves you...the Father who catches you—everytime—in the grip of his grace.
• I have spent years living the lie of legalism.  I was beaten down by the condemnation of those around me and lost sight of my Heavenly Father.  I felt I had to live life on my own and without making any mistakes because I thought you had to "earn" love.  I only fell and I fell hard.  Praise God, He was there to catch me!  Praise God, He picked me up and wiped away the tears! Praise God, He has lavished me with His love and grace and given me a new life!
• So You don't Want to go to Church Anymore-Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman
• So this was the only work of fiction I finished all the way through this year and let me just say that out of every book I read, this IS a much read.  If you've been hurt by a church or disappointed by the dealings of what is happening within the walls of your church, you have to read this book.  You will walk away with an entirely different view of God's ideal church.  
• Heaven is for Real-Todd Burpo
• This is a must read as well!  The view of heaven and Jesus through the eyes of a child.  This is a true story written by the father of Colton, a little boy who died and saw heaven.  It brought me to tears but made me excited for heaven!  READ IT!

• Crazy Love-Francis Chan
• God is love.  Crazy, relentless, all-powerful love.  Have you ever wondered if we're missing it? It's crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe—the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor—loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether you've verbalized it yet or not, we all know something's wrong. Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don'ts-it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same. Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything.
• Crazy!  This book is crazy in a good way!  After experiencing the heartache and betrayal of people that I thought loved and cared about me I began to doubt God's love as well.  Thankfully I stumbled upon this book when I read the status of a friend on Facebook and thought I would give it a read.  If you have ever questioned God's love for you then I highly recommend this book!
• How Good is Good enough- Andy Stanley
• Surely there's more than one way to get to heaven? Bestselling author Andy Stanley addresses this popular belief held even among Christians. But believing that all good people go to heaven raises major problems, Stanley reveals. Is goodness not rewarded, then? Is Christianity not fair? Maybe not, he says. Readers will find out why Jesus taught that goodness is not even a requirement to enter heaven - and why Christianity is beyond fair. Andy Stanley leads believers and skeptics alike to a grateful awareness of God's enormous grace and mercy. Good People Go to Heaven...Don’t They? Sure they do. It only makes sense. Actually, it doesn’t really make any sense at all. Smart, educated, accomplished men and women everywhere are banking their eternities on a theory that doesn’t hold water. Chances are, you’ve never really thought it through. But you owe it to yourself to do so.
• I wish I could buy this book and pass it out to everyone.  So many people walk around with the attitude that life isn't fair.  After the misguided Rob Bell book this is a refreshing read that will give you some real food for thought.  Definitely word the read and a great book for churches to hand out to their members