Bus or not to bus

I participate in car pool with all five of my children.  I spend about an hour every day sitting in car pool either waiting to drop off or pick up.  No one rides the bus.  


Before we moved, my elementary aged children rode the bus home every afternoon. It was convenient.  Once we moved they were nervous about riding a new bus and so I agreed for the time being to pick them up from school.  It stuck.


Let me explain why.  Sitting in car pool is not my most favorite thing in the world.  It is stop and go for about fifteen minutes or longer.  People in car pool ahead of you can be annoying.  The crossing guard not letting anyone move can be annoying but then the moment arrives.  It is my turn to pick up my kids.  


The smile spreads across my face and the talking begins.  Regardless of age or grade they begin chattering away.  I get to hear about their day whether good or bad.  I get a little insight into just what their day is like and who their friends are and it makes every moment of those minutes waiting in carpool worth it.


Yes it would be convenient for them to ride the bus.  Yes it would save some gas. Someday though I will look back on our moments together in the car and be thankful I sacrificed that gas and my time for the conversation.

Mining Company in Canada

One of my favorite movies is Far and Away.  It is one of those movies that I find myself watching over and over.  I love thinking back to the day when people rode horses and traveled in covered wagons.  It was a time where family and friends were appreciated and people worked hard for what they had.

At the end of that movie the characters have traveled west to California in order to claim their land and mine for gold.  They set out in a race for the best piece of land giving them the ability to obtain large acres of land to settle and begin their lives.  It involved a lot of hard work but I can't get past the excitement that had to come with it as well. How cool would it be to own a piece of land not knowing what type of treasure who may find?

I know how much I love going to the beach and sifting through the sand looking for that rare seashell.   I could spend hours sitting there looking through hand fulls of sand in hopes of finding my next great treasure.  

I wonder if I would have that same kind of patience in mining for gold. There is a mining company in Canada that

that is selling gold claims.  I wonder what they cost?   I wonder if mining for gold is the same as searching for sea shells?  Can't you just picture me sitting in my beach chair with my plastic sifter?

Maybe it would be worth checking into this mining company in Canada.  What an adventure that would be.

Don'ts for Husbands ~1913~

Borders is going out of business.  For me that brings about feelings of sadness.  One of my favorite things to do is spend a few hours in my favorite book store, searching through the shelves of books, and finding something special.


Last night as I was leaving a Borders, I found this tiny little hardback book titled: Don'ts for Husbands.  I was intrigued.  I was not necessarily intrigued by the title but instead the date, 1913, that was stamped on the front. I opened the little book to find that it was originally published back in 1913 in London. This more recent copy that I was holding was published back in 2007.  The author of this little book was Blanche Ebbutt.

As I read the Preface I was immediately drawn in by her charm and wit.  I love history.  I love any opportunity I have to sit down with those who have lived much longer than me and hear their stories.  That is what I heard coming from the pages of this book that was written almost one hundred years ago.  


As I explore the pages of this treasure, I want to share the many snippets of entertaining advice that still ring true ten decades later as well as think of them in terms of the way we live today.


I have discovered that there is a companion book as well that she wrote for wives which I will now search out to find.  Wish me luck! 

Mocha Club - Join my Team

Mocha Club -

I am asking for you to take the time to read about the Mocha Club. It was introduced to me and I am excited to introduce it to you today.

Mocha Club is an online community of people giving up the cost of 2 mochas a month – or $7 – to fund relief and development projects in Africa. We work in five main project areas: Clean Water, Education, Child Mothers + Women At Risk, Orphan Care + Vulnerable Children, and HIV/AIDS + Healthcare. For as little as $7 a month you can help someone have clean drinking water. You can help provide the means for a young mother to leave the streets of prostitution and gain an education.

I'm asking that you join my team today and help make a difference in the lives of these women.

Thanks!!

Nicole Greene

“Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?"

Matthew 25:44

Ruby Red Dead

So we are dealing with a monstrous heat wave.  Heat index reaching 115.  This heat is killing our cars.  Mine died yesterday.  Thankfully it was decided that it was not "her time" to go just yet.

Yesterday in the late hours of the afternoon, Ruby (my car) died.  Her poor battery was drained.  It was fried. At first there was success with the use of jumper cables.  She was revived for a couple of more start ups but her time was limited.

I took the kids and met up with friends for dinner last night at Chick-fil-A.  We spent several hours chatting while the children played. I shared my story of the suffering battery.  Thankfully when it came time to leave Ruby's battery decided to run and we were able to make it home.

A few hours later I received an email from my dinner friends saying that they wanted to buy Ruby a battery.  I was overwhelmed.  What a way to minister to this single mom of five.  It was a HUGE blessing and an answer to a prayer.  

This morning when it was time to take my little people to school Ruby wouldn't start.  Due to extreme temperateness,  she just could not take anymore and refused to start.  She had had enough. One last jump from the neighbors next door? It's all I asked.  I begged her.  I just needed to get the kids to school and then meet my friend who was going to purchase my battery.  A quick prayer, a turn of the key, a little sputter and she started.  Thank You! 

A couple hours later I headed to Advance Auto (after leaving my car running the entire time as to not chance it not starting again) where I met my friend.  My friend purchased  a gold battery and stayed with me while they installed it.  Once said battery was installed it was time to give it a try.  The key was turned, a small sputter and success.  Ruby was revived!!!!

What a blessing!  Another amazing example of God's faithfulness and provision.  I am so thankful for the people that God has placed in my life.  I have never known this type of love and friendship.  I have never experienced the body of Christ working and ministering in my life as I have over the past year.  The past few years have been tough but God has remained faithful. We may not always understand why things happen but He has a plan.  He has worked out my messed up life for His glory.  He is using my life as a way for me to share with others His awesome goodness and faithfulness to His children.  

God is good!!  He is full of compassion!!! He will never leave us!!  His mercies are new every morning!!!! He is faithful!! 

An unbearably hot pit

I need to write.  It seems like it's been ages since I've written anything.  Truth is I'm a little intimidated by the new Blogger format.  It looks all professional.  I feel like I should be submitting some great work of art.

So here is my thought for today....

Have you ever wondered what the devil is doing while we grumble over unimportant things?    Last night I watched a 20/20 episode and they were talking about the devil.  They were asking people if they believed in the devil and if he had influence over people.  I was surprised to hear "worldly people" say they did believe in the devil. One of the people that they interviewed said the devil's arms are too short to box with God so he boxes with us instead. 

Interesting thought.  Satan cannot get to God.  He has no power over God.  No influence.  What does he do instead?  He goes after God's kids.  He gets to God through us.  Then he stands back and laughs at our small attention span taking total advantage of our distracted state of mind.

He is able to do this by placing obstacles in our path or thoughts in our head that create issues between believers.  We end up arguing or becoming focused on things that are totally not important in the grand scheme of things.  Satan knows our weakness and this is where he attacks.  If he can find a way to take our eyes off of the goal, sharing Truth to the lost, he gains a huge head start on his agenda which is dragging as many people down with him because he knows that in the end, he will lose.  

Satan doesn't care about anyone but himself.  All he wants is to hurt God.  To steal His children.  Sadly, he often succeeds.  How often is God brought to tears over our stupid arguing?  What color carpet?  Traditional or praise music?  The list goes on and I'm sure we all have been a part of one these discussions at one time or another.  It is so incredibly frustrating to me.  While people are heading for an eternity spent in hell, we are worried about silly little things.  Do you get what I'm saying?  While we talk about carpet people are headed for hell.

"Simply put, it is horrendous beyond words!
An unbearably hot pit;
Pitch blackness you can feel;
Endless deafening screams of tormented souls;
An overwhelming putrid most disgusting sulphurous smell;
Fighting and gasping to take in even the smallest amount of this foul air;
A terrible feeling of isolation with no privilege or comfort of talking to anyone;
Extreme body weakness whereby one can hardly move a muscle;
A feeling of total exhaustion yet you can neither fall asleep nor rest;
Hateful and vicious demons tearing at your flesh and tormenting you;
A sea of maggots and other terrible creatures all around;
A sense of total confusion and chaos and despair;
A distorted perception of time where every minute feels like a year;
…..yet the flesh is never fully consumed by all this horror."

Bill Wises description of hell

Focus people.  We have a battle to fight.  In the end, we know who will ultimately have the victory and win the war.  How many will end up on our team?  How many will you have led to join the winning team?  Satan is recruiting his army daily.  The demons don't sit around discussing shades of blue.  

If you are a part of the winning team then fight for those who haven't joined yet.  Put aside your own feelings, desires, comforts and needs and fight for those who haven't joined your team.  Give Satan a run for his money and let him know we aren't going to give up or give in so easily.

Happy Birthday Sunshine

One day some parents brought their little children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But when the disciples saw this, they scolded the parents for bothering him.

 ¹⁶ Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. ¹⁷ I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”

Luke 18:15-17

Four years ago today, late on a Friday (the 13^th) evening, I was blessed with my precious ray of sunshine.  My fifth baby was born and my world changed forever.

From the age of four, my oldest daughter had prayed for a baby sister.  Not long after her sixth birthday, we were shopping at Target when my little girl picked up a pair of tiny ballet slippers. She wanted to buy these tiny slippers for the baby sister that was in my tummy.  I laughed for there was no baby in my tummy. For the next few minutes, we argued back and forth about the baby that was not in my tummy.  After many minutes of the back and forth banter the four year old finally won and I bought the pair of slippers.  Three days later, I had a positive pregnancy test in my hand.  I was flabbergasted.  My six year old was thrilled.  I asked her how she knew that mommy had a baby in her tummy and she said, “Because I asked Jesus for a baby sister.” 

The faith of a child.  There is nothing like it and nothing more precious. Why can we all not have that kind of faith in God? 

Before we are corrupted by sin and the world, our faith is great.  We believe that God can move the mountains if only we ask.  I see that in my now four year old baby girl every day.  When it rains, “mommy, God is giving the snakes water.”  When she eats “thank you God for my mommy’s good food.”  When she plays “God lets me have lots of toys.”  She understands where things come from and does not question.

Jesus said that the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like the children.  We have to believe as our children believe.  We need to see the world and those in it through the eyes of our children.  Wow.  That is tough.

It is amazing how when dealing with difficult and big things, God seems so much smaller. As I dealt with depression, I went through many days of questioning God.  God became a lot less big to me than He had in the past.  He felt so much farther away from me. Why did God bring this little girl into my life, the world?  Here was my beautiful little girl who would never remember what it was to have mommy and daddy together on vacation or for birthdays.  It brought so much anger into my heart.  For me, it was not acceptable.  I was wrapped in pain and hurt and my world was dark. 

One evening I was tucking her into bed and said her prayers.  I went through the normal thank for …. where we name everyone in our family. Part of that prayer included praying for daddy and that God will keep him safe.  Once we were done praying, my sweet little girl looked at me and said, “Mommy, I love you, I love granddaddy and grandmommy and I love daddy”.  Now the first part of that sentence was the norm.  She always said she loved me, granddaddy, and grandmommy but this was the first time she said daddy.  Now don’t get me wrong.  It was not that she suddenly realized that she loved her daddy.  The kid is crazy for her daddy.  Instead, it was a God moment.  He spoke those words through her to my heart.  Tears streamed down my face as I looked at her and said “and mommy and daddy love you so very much too.”  My sweet girl put her little hands on my face and said “Mommy don’t be sad.’  I told her I wasn’t sad. That mommy’s tears were happy tears because she was such a special little girl.  I kissed her goodnight and said “mommy and daddy love you very much and we will always love you very much.” 

That moment was huge for me.  The sun began to pierce the darkness of my heart.  The hurt and anger began to melt just a little.  God was using that precious little gift that He had given to me to soften my heart and love when I just didn’t feel like loving.  To forgive when I just didn’t feel like forgiving.  To move forward when I just didn’t feel like budging. 

God knew what He was doing when He created my special sunshine.  Throughout the past two years He has used her so many times to remind me to love above all else.  To smile when it would be so much easier to cry.  To cherish every moment and everything, recognizing that they all are precious gifts from God when we are so undeserving. 

Happy Birthday to my sweet ray of sunshine! 

Let God be God!

God is good. We needed food. Our pantry was not empty but it was not full either. We had the necessities. Bread, cheese, peanut butter, jelly, cereal, pop-tarts, pasta, sauce and stuff like that. We have been eating a lot of sandwiches and pasta. My kids are pretty awesome. Whatever we have, they eat without complaining.

Tonight I took them to the pool. After a day of cleaning and doing laundry, I needed a break. As I sat at the pool, I was trying to come up with clever ways to make a grilled cheese sandwich. My plan was to come home, put the youngest in the tub and throw together some sandwiches.

While little stuff was in the tub, there was a knock at the door. The kids yelled at me to come to the door. What did I find? My next-door neighbor with four bags of groceries. I fell apart. How in the world did she know?

My neighbor speaks very little English. Typically, when we talk her twelve year old son has to translate much of the conversation for us. She has no clue as to my situation other then I am a single mom with five kids. It’s as if she knew. She put her arms around me and said in her best English possible, “it is my pleasure to help you. Anything you need, you come and knock”. I was overwhelmed and in that moment knew that God was standing at my front door as well.

Don’t tell me that God does not provide. Do not tell me that God does not bless. Each day He teaches me to trust Him more. He WILL provide my every need!

What an amazing moment for my kids. They are seeing God work through those around us even when life may be turned upside down. My seven year old said tonight, “Mommy this has never happened to us before. We have never had people help us like this before”. Someone sent me an email that pretty much said my kids lives would suck. Well guess what? God is good! He will use every circumstance whether good or bad, for His glory, His good and His purpose when choose obedience and follow Him. My kids will learn more through this time in their lives than most kids who will have lives that don't suck.

Life is what you make it. You can choose to let the bad over take you or you can choose to allow God to work. My kids are seeing amazing things and will grow up knowing that their Daddy (Heavenly Daddy) will never let them down nor will He ever let them go hungry.

God Will Defend You by Jon Walker

Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Proverbs 30:5 (NIV)

Historian Stephen Ambrose says that during World War II, “The Allied bombers bristled with machine guns, in the nose, under the belly, on top, in the rear.”

He reports the workhorse of the air war was the B-17 bomber, known as the “Flying Fortress” because it carried thirteen .50 caliber machine guns.

Surprisingly, scientific testing suggested the B-17 would be safer without the guns. Without the weight of the guns and the crew members required to shoot them, the planes could fly faster and higher, increasing the chance of survival during daylight missions.

But the pilots said there was no way they were going on a mission without guns mounted on the plane. They wanted to be able to shoot back.

We make the same choice when it comes to our own battles. God tells us we don’t need the guns; we can soar higher and faster with him. “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does” (2 Corinthians 10:3 NIV).

God says the weapons he will give us “have divine power to demolish strongholds,” and we no longer need to use the “weapons of the world” (2 Corinthians 10:4 NIV).

But we say, “No thanks. We have to shoot back!” and defend ourselves with an arsenal of angry words, demanding attitudes, manipulative maneuvers, excessive excuses, and bombs of blame.

It takes faith to stop using these weapons of the flesh and instead “take up the shield of faith” and arm ourselves with the weapons of God, starting with the bomb of love (Ephesians 6:16 NIV).

It’s the kind of faith David showed when he approached Goliath, saying, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied” (1 Samuel 17:45 NIV).

Could God’s spiritual arsenal defend you as well? “He is a shield to those who take refuge in him” (Proverbs 30:5 NIV).

Jon Walker is the author of Costly Grace.

Blessings from obedience

This week's promise: Blessings come from obeying God

What does God promise to those who obey?

Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with scoffers. But they delight in doing everything the Lord wants; day and night they think about his law. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season withoutfail.Their leaves never wither, and in all theydo, they prosper.

Psalm 1:1-3 NLT

Do What He Says

Believers who build their lives on a solid foundation are like the man whom a reporter found in the aftermath of Hurricane Andrew. Amid the devastation and debris, one house still stood firm on its foundation. The owner was cleaning up when the reporter a pproached him. "Sir, why is your house the only one still standing?" the reporter asked.

"I built this house myself," the man replied. "I built it according to the Florida state building code. I was told that a house built according to code could withstand a hurricane. I did, and it did! I suppose no one else around here followed the code."

If you have built your life on Jesus Christ and His teaching, you will stand when the storms of life hit. If you are not merely a hearer but a doer of the His Word, you will endure. The true Christian—the one who has built his or her life on the right foundation—will stand the test.

Based on Breakfast with Jesus by Greg Laurie (Tyndale House) p 113

Ode to Aaron-My introverted friend

I found this post online and immediately thought of one of my closest friends, Aaron who has now moved away and left me alone.

He knows he's an introvert. Many consider that a negative trait but to me, an introvert is the best friend you can have. They are honest and always tell you the honest truth when you ask for their opinion. Aaron is the most loyal friend I have ever had and one that will always be there. I am thankful for my introverted friend.


Top ten myths about introverts

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk. This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people. On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public. Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone. Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird. Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds. Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun. Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts. Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race.
In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

(Source: carlkingcreative.com, via dearfox)

Thoughts of my dad

I have spent the past week watching my oldest struggle with feelings that are painful for me to watch him deal with as a mother.  There is nothing in this world more heartbreaking than to watch your child suffer and know that no matter how hard you have tried, you cannot fix the pain that they are experiencing.  As I have watched him cry, heard him express his hurt and loved on him, it left me reflecting on my own dad.

My dad is not perfect.  My dad has never claimed to be perfect.  He will admit failure to anyone who asks.  I have watched over the past year as my dad has been arrested, been falsely accused of physical assault, been bled dry and so much more by someone he loved dearly and considered one his closet friends. I have watched him hurt at the loss of dealing with someone who betrayed him in every way imaginable yet has held his tongue, and continued to do in front of others, and instead chosen to speak positively of this person.  You will often times hear him declare how much he misses this person.  I thought a lot about that during the night as I lay awake watching my oldest sleep.

It is often said that the view we have of God is often reflective of our view of our earthly father.  I never understood this because my view of God was harsh and critical for a very long time.  I always felt that I could not measure up to God’s standards and that I had to “earn” His love.  For me, a relationship with God was impossible because God was perfect and I was not.  I strived to meet up to His requirements but always failed.  

This is NOT how I ever viewed my earthly father.  I knew he was not perfect.  I knew I did not have to earn his love.  I knew his love was unconditional. So where did my view of God come from and why did I cling so tightly to those things that I believed?  I believe it came from years of lack of understanding.  Years of thinking the wrong things about God from what I witnessed from other people.  I watched people who saw the sin in others and turned their back on those people.  I listened as people gossiped and shunned.  I watched as people who claimed to love Jesus display the exact opposite of who Jesus was which led me to view God in the same light.

This morning I woke up to do my quiet time and found a devotional waiting for me from one of my favorite writers.  He wrote about a man who was a brilliant Air Force pilot.  He was promoted to the rank of general but turned it down for a greater honor of serving God.  He chose to obey the call of God and dedicated himself to full-time ministry.  This man was known for the ability to get along with others.  He never criticized anyone and his heart was full of positive thoughts instead of negative.  It sent me to Matthew 5:8, “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”  I began thinking, that when we are humbly walking with God, we often assume that others are pure of heart as well.  We give people the benefit of the doubt.  On the contrary, those that are in sin, who are critical of everyone else are really only trying to hide their own imperfections and sin.  

What a revelation.  My dad is not perfect.  I am not perfect either and as I have dealt with my own issues, I have spent much time reflecting on my Heavenly Father and my dad.  I have rediscovered my Heavenly Father in a brand new way because of my dad.  He is a man that loves people even when they have hurt him.  He is a man that forgives.  He is man that does not criticize.  He is a man that has encouraged me to see the good in someone when I have totally lost hope in that person. 

I often am criticized for continually trying to see the good in someone but after reflecting on my Dad and my dad this morning, I realize everyone needs a chance.  Everyone needs love.  Though we may feel like they don’t deserve it, God commands it.  

I have often looked at my eleven year old and wondered how it is that he is able to overlook all the hurt caused by those in his life but yet chooses to love above the hurt and see the best in those that are not good.  This morning I realized that God created my little boy with his granddaddy’s heart.  He loves those who are hateful.  He loves those who hurt others.  He chooses to see the best when the rest of the world sees the worst.

Thank you daddy for teaching me that kind of love.  For demonstrating it to my children at a time in their life when they need it the most.  Thank you Daddy for the daddy that you blessed my life and my children’s lives with.

Fathers, Display to Your Children All of God

Fathers, Display to Your Children All of God

How do I know God is faithful?

How do I know my God is faithful and hears my prayers? Last night as I drifted off to sleep, I prayed. I asked God for affirmation. I need to hear His voice. I awoke this morning to this devotional. He heard me and answered my cry.



Praise the Lord,
      for he has shown me the wonders of his unfailing love.
      He kept me safe when my city was under attack.
 ²² In panic I cried out,
      “I am cut off from the Lord!”
   But you heard my cry for mercy
      and answered my call for help.
 ²³ Love the Lord, all you godly ones!
      For the Lord protects those who are loyal to him,
      but he harshly punishes the arrogant.



Psalm 31:21-23

June 16, 2011 Before We Respond Lysa TerKeurst

“For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.” 1 Peter 2:15 (NIV)

Sweet friend, let’s chat. About “those” emails. “Those” comments. “Those” words from another that make our heart beat, our throat tighten, and our smile fall.
Yes, “those.”
Harsh comments seem so unnecessary to me. I honestly can’t find any sort of justification in Scripture to hurl insults and ugliness at another person. But, these are a reality in my world. A small reality, thank heavens, but a reality none the less. Sadly, I bet you can relate.
And I’ll be honest; I’m just as prone as the next person to feel like putting an ugly worded person in their place. Hurt when I’ve been hurt. Invent a slap button for my computer. Not so nice, huh?
That’s why I don’t react out of my feelings. This will only cause the conflict to escalate rather than dissipate.
I wait to respond until the hurt can be processed with more than my feelings. For me, hurtful things are first processed through the emotional part of my brain before the logical part of my brain. Honestly, I need both emotion and logic to be involved in my response, so I wait. And I need some Scripture to get involved before responding.
In 1 Peter chapter 2 we find a treasure trove of verses that relate to this issue.
So, here are three things I keep in mind before I reply:
Is a reply even necessary?
“For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.” (1 Peter 2:15)
Sometimes the delete button is a lovely feature. Not every email needs a reply. Not every critic should be given an answer. Especially if someone’s comments are sent to us anonymously. Don’t let their comments derail you. Instead let it be a reminder of how more effectively your time could be spent doing something good. Invest in that good and let your actions reveal your heart.
A reaction and a reply are vastly different.
“When they hurled their insults at him (Jesus), he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23)
It’s hard to resist retaliation. It can feel quite justifiable to hurt the one who hurt us. But just because it feels right doesn’t mean it is right.
We can turn our initial harsh reaction into a gentle response by pausing. Take some time to let our emotions cool off. Seek to see things from the other person’s perspective. Realize there is probably a lot more hurt going on in their heart than what we’ll ever know — and chances are it has very little to do with us. Wrap our response in kindness and truth. Leave the judging up to God. God knows. God sees. God honors those who honor Him.
Humility is a beautiful diffuser.
“For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls” (1 Peter 2:25).
Sometimes a harsh comment from another is a reason to step back and honestly assess if some of what’s being criticized is our fault. Ask for forgiveness. Seek to bring truth to light in a gentle and loving way. And offer grace. Giving grace doesn’t make them right. It simply and humbly acknowledges we both need it, so I chose to freely give it.
Oh sweet friend…I hope you don’t need this advice today. But, if and when you do, I pray it helps.

Dear Lord, show me how to seek You like never before. Please help me to see this hurt as an opportunity today. And opportunity to seek grace, model love, and expand past my initial flesh reactions. I want to make right choices that honor You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Lysa’s blog by clicking here for three great tips on writing email responses that help diffuse hurtful situations.
Looking for a summer Bible study to do individually or with some friends? Don’t miss Lysa’s new 6 week DVD teaching set, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. For more information, click here.
The accompanying Yes to God Bible Study workbook can be found by clicking here.
Lysa will be speaking in more than 40 cities this year, and she’d love to meet you! To check for a city near you, click here.
When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity because your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. We wish we could, but we simply can’t compete with prices offered by huge online warehouses. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you!
Application Steps:
We need both emotion and logic to be involved in our responses. And we also need Scripture to refer to ponder, and pray through. Write a verse from this devotion that most resonated with your heart and post it next to your computer.
Reflections:
Giving grace doesn’t make the other person right. It simply and humbly acknowledges we both need it, so I chose to freely give it. How will this thought help my with my responses going forward? Remember, God knows, God sees, God honors those who honor Him.
Power Verses:
1 Peter 2:22, “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” (NIV)
Psalm 133:1, “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” (NIV)

A new blog

My oldest has started his own blog.  I am so proud!!  Be sure to give him a visit and leave his some encouraging comments.  It would also be great if you would follow him.  


He's also looking for some ideas of things to write about so leave that in a comment as well

Hammy's thoughts....

Deal with it!

As a writer we put ourselves out there to be criticized.  We expose our most intimate thoughts and emotions for everyone to read.  It is personal and we make ourselves vulnerable to those who read what we have to share.  That being said, we also get attacked.   There are people, that in order to make themselves feel better, they leave venomous comments in an attempt to thwart our writing.  There have been times for me that it almost worked but that was several years ago when I first began writing.  That was before I became confident in who I am in Christ.  This morning as I was reading all the tweets of my Twitter friends, I found this posting written by a fellow blogger.  I felt it quite fitting due to the lovely recent comments left for me.  After reading her post I finally realized what is behind those that leave such comments.  It makes me sad for those people.  Anyway I know that many who read my blog also write as well so maybe you will find this article helpful too. 

4 ways to deal with criticism (because everybody’s got an opinion.)

Last night, as the evening was winding down, a flurry of extremely harsh comments came through on a couple of my posts from last month (the ones about hiring help.)

If you’re a writer, perhaps you understand the sick feeling of being misunderstood and accused of being a person you know you are not. And so perhaps you also understand my immediate reaction, which was to fire off a couple of terse responses.

After that, I took the dog for a walk. (I should have done this in reverse order, but nobody’s perfect.)

I spent the first ten minutes of the walk sputtering and composing scathing responses in my head, all the way to the bluff downtown that overlooks Lake Michigan. When I got there, I came to a full stop – body and mind – and just stared at the orange and gray twilight over Lake Michigan. When I finally turned away from the water and started heading for home, my mind was much quieter. And that’s when this simple thought popped into my head: “Has this person earned the right to shake my peace?”

And the answer, of course, was a resounding “no.”

How silly that, while the vast majority of the nearly 300 comments in those two threads were kind and respectful, I’d allowed somebody who represented a teeny, tiny minority to get under my skin. Somebody I don’t even know. Isn’t it funny how one negative comment or reaction has a way of looming larger in your psyche than dozens or perhaps hundreds of positive, encouraging, supportive messages? For instance:

• You’re feeling really good about your parenting lately – the kids have been so well-behaved even the grumpy lady at church smiled at them on Sunday. Then the cashier at the grocery store makes a comment about you “bribing” your kids when you reward them with a package of fruit snacks. Suddenly you feel deflated, and your recent success feels like a fraud.
• You’ve decided to start a business selling your crafts on Etsy. You sell a few items and have a small waiting list and lots of positive comments, and you’re feeling pretty good until…somebody you don’t even know makes fun of one of your creations on Twitter. Now you’re wondering if you should just close up shop and quit.
• You got accepted to the nursing program at your local college – woohoo! At a family birthday party everyone congratulates you and you’re even the star of a celebratory toast. Then your great-aunt Edna asks how you can stand the idea of leaving your poor kids behind to go to work (the way she makes it sound, you’ll be throwing them into a closet with a few crusts of bread and a chamber pot.) Suddenly all those warm fuzzies are weighed down by a blanket of cold, prickly indignation, guilt and self-doubt.

It’s only natural to feel deflated in the face of criticism: being human, of course a good dousing in cold water affects us. The question is, how do we harness our healthy human vulnerability (the kind Brené Brown talks about) to make us better people and to help us be more courageous and kind, instead of either cowering in the corner or becoming hardened?

I thought about Brené as I walked home, asking myself:  how can vulnerability make me a better person? Well, for one thing, sensitivity to criticism allows me to put myself in other people’s shoes and carefully think about how they might feel reading my words. I’m hyper-aware of the way I phrase things so that I can show people the same respect I would like them to show me, even if we ultimately disagree. I’m not always perfect at it, but I try. Hard.

I don’t think there’s anything particularly virtuous in being so thick-skinned that harsh criticism and name-calling don’t sting. In fact, I think the expectation that we should be able to buck up and withstand nasty-grams from attackers without feeling the blow is really messed up. Frankly, I don’t ever want to be that desensitized.

On the other hand…

We also owe it to ourselves not to allow criticism to totally derail us. I think an initial reaction of irritation, indignation and even anger is totally normal, but after letting yourself “go there” you have to take a big step back and look at the situation objectively. Otherwise you risk playing a losing game and getting mired down in negativity.

Here are a few questions I ask myself when I’m feeling particularly rattled by other people’s criticism:

1. Is the person being kind and respectful? 
2. Are the critics trusted sources? In other words, are these people who – by knowing me and caring about me, or by presenting a respectful argument – have earned the right to get my attention? Or are they taking cheap shots, criticizing without helping, or complete strangers who just blew in to start a fight?
3. Is this really about me? Sometimes people have a bee in their bonnets about something and you’re just the closest target. And some people are so bent on getting a rise out of somebody that they’ll lash out until they hit anytarget. You won’t win no matter how many holes you poke in their logic and no matter how hard you try to prove that you really aren’t a jerk…because arguing is sport for them. It’s not personal, no matter how personal they make it seem.
4. What do the numbers say? If five of my family members love what I made for dinner and one of them complains, I figure he’s the one with the faulty tastebuds. If all six of them can barely choke down my quinoa salad, perhaps it’s time to cross that dish off of the meal plan. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person, by the way; just that this one thing I tried didn’t work.

Whether you’re chasing a dream, sharing your deepest feelings in a blog, or just trying to get through the day with kids, you’re going to encounter criticism. Sometimes it’s going to come from a place of loving concern, and sometimes…not so much. Either way it’s not easy to take. Give yourself a big break if you (like I did last night) initially over-react. You’re human. It’s natural to be hurt when people don’t seem to like you or support you.

But don’t let it keep you down. Chase the dream anyway. Write about your feelings anyway. Go out in public with your imperfect kids anyway, and bribe them with fruit snacks if you feel the need, even if that nosy cashier is watching. In the end, there’s a very small number of people to whom you have anything to prove, and you’re right at the top of that list.

Have you ever let a dream or decision get derailed by criticism? How do you deal when somebody doesn’t seem to like what you’re doing?

Nation's largest Protestant group faces 'decline' - USATODAY.com

Nation's largest Protestant group faces 'decline' - USATODAY.com

To die for....

Let me just express how incredibly thankful I am that Krispy Kreme in Wake Forest finally got it right. 


I love Krispy Kreme doughnuts.  I love them A LOT!  But I only like them cold.  I will NOT eat a Krispy Kreme doughnut hot as they are incredibly disgusting.


The best Krispy Kreme doughnut I ever had was found in Burbank California.  Everything about those doughnuts were perfect. They were the perfect temperature and had they had the perfect amount of glaze.  They were divinity.


I was thrilled when I learned that Krispy Kreme would be opening up a store only minutes from my home.  Once it opened I visited quite often but always left disappointed.  The doughnuts were not good and so I quit going.


Several weeks ago I had a craving and gave in.  I decided to give this store a second chance.  To my amazement, I found the perfect doughnut right here in Wake Forest.  It was as if God picked up the Krispy Kreme in Burbank and placed it minutes within my house.  


Now I cannot get enough. I want doughnuts all the time.  This is not a good thing during bathing suit season.  

Urgent request

"For this people's heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them."

Matthew 13:15

Today I had a conversation with someone that left me filled with grief.

As I looked into their eyes I saw no evidence of joy, peace or light. Instead there was cold and darkness. So much pain. A heart that has become hardened to Truth.

My heart aches for this person. My heart is scared for this person. My heart fears where their eternity will be spent.

Scripture says,

"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

Matthew 18:19-20

I'm am at a loss at what else to do and so this is my request...

For those concerned with Kingdom and eternal things, I am inviting you to my home this Monday night for a time of specific prayer. I am asking my readers and friends to join with me in lifting up those in our lives that have walked away from God or are lost. To meet with me to pray for protection and softened hearts for those we love that have lost their way.

Will you join me? Please?

Please forward to those you know. Let's fill my home with people and prayer for those we love in order to bring glory to God.

I refuse to give up....

http://abatteredmother.wordpress.com/2011/04/14/mothers-under-siege-tactics-of-the-fathers-rights-movement-how-can-a-good-enough-mother-protect-herself/

The money is gone.  The issue is still not settled.  I fight a battle every day to keep my head above water.  I have pleaded and begged for a resolution so that money can be put to the use of what is right.


After reading this article I am even more saddened.  I feel even more hopeless. I do not understand the world in which we live and why men (especially men who claim to be followers of Christ) would choose to harm their children, by hurting the mother of their children,  in order to control.


Over the past few weeks my list of friends has grown as I have found many other women in my situation.  This is real and happens everyday.  I have found that more and more women from the church I used to attend are dealing with the exact same issues. I am  learning that women typically get no support within the church they attend.  I am learning that pastors (male) will not back a women as it sends out the message to their church that they may not be doing their job (as pastors) in leading the men of their church. I can easily understand how this madness happens in "the world" but within Christian communities, I am baffled.


While some of you out there fight to keep a job or your home, their are moms fighting a losing battle to keep their kids.  You may wonder if their will be another paycheck.  She wonders is someone is going to take away her kids. Moms who must choose to buy milk or make another payment to an attorney.  Oftentimes, moms are lucky if they see any money from the father of their children until a court order is granted and even then, it does not always happen.


I spoke with a women from my old church yesterday.  She said something that made me think as I realized the truth in her statement, "What man who claims to love their children and wants what is best for his children would drag their mother through the mud and waste thousands upon thousands of dollars for attorneys instead of taking care of their kids.  To me, that is the worst form of a dead beat dad that there is. That my friend is NOT a godly man or a saved man and it is happening everywhere."


There are those men out there that truly do not have the money and work hard to pay.  They do the best that they can.  That doesn't particularly help the moms who try to provide for their kids but at least they are trying. They do exist.  But then there are those men, backed by family and friends who just want to win.  Who just want to cause harm.  Who just want their way and will do whatever they have to in order to get their way.  There are men who drag out court hearings and refuse to mediate with their spouse.  Their plan is to bleed the ex-wife dry until she can no longer fight.  She has no choice but to give up.  It is an issue of power and control and our court system does nothing to stop it.


I believe I have found my mission.  I may not be able to change my situation.  At this point, I truly believe it would take an act of God or miracle (which I believe can happen) for my story to have a happy ending.  I will however become an advocate.  I will be a voice.  I will use my story to help other women, other moms who have been hurt and their lives destroyed by the person who promised before God to cherish and honor them.


God is watching.  He sees our men and the harm that they cause.  There are consequences.  They may not come today but they will happen.  All we as moms can do it trust God for protection.  Trust God and His faithfulness and move forward with confidence knowing that our children are worth every ounce of energy, every single penny spent  and every tear shed.