Angels Among Us

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2

Pretty sure that I had a visit from an angel while I was working because the whole encounter was just too perfect and right on time.  

I woke up that morning feeling quite defeated.  Knowing after several days of good things happening that it wouldn't last forever, I should have been prepared. I should have been ready for a down day. I've learned that the enemy always attacks when I'm feeling closest to God. That should have served as my red flag.  I should have been on guard and ready for this attack but sadly it took me by surprise.  I've been walking so confident and secure in His plan and His love lately but woke up allowing the whispers of an enemy so vile to enter my head and fill my heart. I just couldn't stand up against the attack. 

It is unusual for me to been seen without a smile on my face or happy for that matter.  This is how I arrived at work on this day.  Unhappy to be there. Sadness in my eyes and defeat in my heart. I was unprepared. I had neglected having my daily conversation with God that morning leaving me open for more attacks.  Honestly, I just didn't care. I felt justified in allowing the enemy to get the best of me.  Come on, I deserve it every once in awhile after all I've been through.  Right?  You know what?  It was okay.  God knew I would have my down day and He had everything in place.

I'm learning that I do not have to be strong all the time.  I'm learning that everyone has weak moments. God knows my heart, He knows where I stand with Him, which means that even in those dark moments, when I'm not feeling it He knows I trust Him. He was prepared for me.

Work that morning was incredibly slow. The store was hauntingly quiet which meant I was alone in my thoughts.  For me, when I'm down, being alone with my thoughts is horrible place to find myself. I end up having conversations in my head with those that I would more than enjoy having a face-to-face confrontation with at some point in time.  However, these conversations are never good and I can be completely honest and say not Christ like either.   These particular conversations only bring me down even more and draw me further from Truth.  This is when I could feel the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart reminding me to take my thoughts captive.  This morning that was easier said than done.

As I was wrestling with the Holy Spirit, I happened to look up and see an elderly woman standing at the counter.  She appeared to be the age of my grandmother.  I took a breath and walked over. I just did not feel like talking.  As I approached her, it was as if she could read my mind.  She looked at me and said, "This store is so quiet. Almost too quiet.  Leaves too much time to think."  I'm sure my jaw dropped.  I was not sure what to say but simply answered with a quiet yes.  From there a conversation developed that continued for an hour.  I did not say much but instead just listened.  From what few details I divulged of my own life, it was as if she knew the rest of my story by what she shared.  

I have experienced those types of situations so many times throughout the past couple of years.  Those moments when I'm feeling the most defeated, God sends a divine appointment. After this encounter, I am even more certain that angels have entertained me on more than one occasion.  God's providential planning is awe-inspiring.  That morning, He took my emotionally drained heart and rejuvenated it through a conversion that was clearly divine.  He is always on time, every time.

After she left, I began sharing with a new coworker of what had just happened.  He too is a Christian and for the next thirty minutes, we talked about Joseph, Esther and Job.  He pointed out pieces of my life that were clearly moments of God working to grow my faith.  It was a remarkable couple of hours at work.

Several months ago when I was hired at this store, I walked out rejoicing because after fourteen years of being a stay at home mom, I was hired on the spot.  With the economy so bad and so many without work, I was given the first job I applied for right on the spot and  I whole heartedly believed that God had given me that job as a way to provide for me financially.  Boy, I have quickly changed my mind. I no longer feel that this job has anything to do with money.  After several longs years of being abandoned by friends, family and a church I trusted, people who had been in my life for years, God has placed me in a position where complete and utter strangers are speaking His truth to me.  I have learned to recognize His voice in the most random circumstances and the most unusual people.  

God knows what we need.  He knows when we need it.  I've stopped worrying about my circumstances because I learned some time ago that He has a plan much greater than anything I can see.  Now I'm learning how to recognize His hand in every situation.  He shows His constant confirmation of His presence in my life almost daily now by those who are willing to be obedient to His voice and speak truth into my life.  

Here's praying that now I will be that obedient one and be available to those around me when they need to hear truth.  May my heart be ready and open to hear His call when He asks me to speak in bold obedience to another who needs to hear truth and find hope.

GOD IS GOOD!

Born to do what??

How do you know that you're born to do something?  How did I know as a young girl that I was born to be a mom?  I think that was instinct and something having to do with being the first born child.  How do I know I'm amazing at it?  Meet my kids!  They are amazing!  If you've been around them you know they love God, have caring hearts and outstanding personalities.  I've spent years teaching them and preparing for them for such a time as this and it is why I know, they are fine.

My kids are strong.  They know truth.  All truth.  They have a discernment that other kids might not always have.  It's not because they have some special gift but it's because I've taught them how to hear or feel the Holy Spirit in their lives.  Even the four year old knows when Jesus is talking to her or teaching her something new.  I know those things have come from my teaching and direction and because of that, I am confident of God's hand upon each of their lives and confident is my success as a mom.

With that being said, how do I know I was born to write.  It's much like how I know I was born to be a mom.  I love it.  I'm passionate about it. It consumes me. Just like I love every step of being pregnant and mom, I love every step of the writing process. I cannot go to sleep at night without spending some time with a pen and paper in my hand or in front of my laptop.  Writing has become an extension of me.  Those who know me best would agree that I express myself best through the written word. I love that I can inspire and encourage others with my words.  It's just like being a mom.  My kids learn and are encouraged by the things that I teach them.  They succeed because of my encouragement. It's like that with my writing. People read what I have to say and are encouraged and inspired.  That's an amazing feeling.

When I was younger, I didn't care much for writing.  I did dabble in writing fiction stories and even won a contest once but I was never passionate about it.  I didn't realize that I had a passion for writing until I figured out what it was that I was passionate about and then the writing began flowing out of me.

I love sharing Christ.  I love sharing my faith.  I love sharing my stories in hopes of helping or encouraging another in need of hope.  I know that God has given me this time of waiting in order to open my heart to great things.  He has something in store for me and is giving me amazing opportunities to help others.  If my situation was not what it is right now, I would not have this opportunity.  I am confident in His time, His plan and His purpose for my life.

In 2001 I wrote two books and a half of another.  Neither are anything that need to be published, worthy of being published or will ever be read by anyone other than those that I allowed to read them but I did it. I know it can be done.  Today I was contacted by a publishing company.  Nothing big,  Someone small who follows me on Twitter. They felt I had something that needed to be shared. Something simple that will allow me to share my stories with those out there who need encouragement and hope.  I'm capable of writing.  I love to write and I know that I have a story to tell about a God who is faithful, loving and full of grace.  God is good and when we wait on Him and follow Him in obedience, He opens doors and gives us great opportunities. Praise God for His unending goodness and faithfulness!!

The Magic of the right kind of Fashion

I LOVED entering back into the working world this past year.  I LOVE my job!  I LOVE the people I work with every day!  I LOVE the confidence it has given me!  
My job may not be the most impressive but it is a blessing and a gift from God.  When there are so many without jobs, it is by far an answer to prayer when a woman has been a mom for fourteen years and is hired on the spot, given the opportunity to work. I am thankful!
Not only am I thankful for the job but am BEYOND thankful for the things being learned.  Today I share with you the secrets I've learned from my small amount of time on the sales floor.

1. People are persnickety! People go to a great deal of trouble to find the perfect fragrance.  I have literally spent an hour with a customer testing every fragrance in the store only to have them walk out purchasing the same fragrance they walked in wearing.
2. Be careful where you purchase your fragrances!  If you are buying it in a cheap in a discount store, chances are it's old and about to expire.  Yes fragrances DO have a shelf life and are removed from high end stores after they have been sitting too long.  This means your local discount stores are getting those left overs and selling them at a lower price.  
3. Many women need to be taught how to apply make-up and what colors look best.  Blue eye shadow does NOT look good on everybody!  Red lipstick cannot be wore by everyone! Blush should not appear as stripes on our cheeks! If you're unsure, visit your local cosmetic counter or call up your local Mary Kay Representative and allow them to teach you the correct application of your cosmetics.
4. Good skin care DOES work!  No one believes I am 36.  I pretty much get that I don't look more than 25 every time I work at the cosmetic counter.  Ladies are always asking what products I use and want those products. The secret to good skin care is not a creme or lotion but instead a tool.  It is called the Clarisonic Mia and it is AMAZING!! (can be found on QVC for an excellent price) It works and though it is pricey, it decreases your need for foundation, moisturizer, and all the other crap we apply to our faces to appear younger saving money in the long run.
5. Women who could be grandmothers or who are should NOT be wearing leggings much less riding boots.  This was pointed out to me by my soon to be fourteen year old. I get we all want to feel younger but seriously ladies, let's wear things that are age appropriate.  It's not classy at all!
6. The handbag we carry is essential to our outfit and speaks volumes to our fashion sense and style.  Picking out a handbag is not always about comfort or practicality.  Our handbag makes a huge statement in regards to our understanding of the latest trends and styles.  Your handbag does NOT have to match your shoes.  That's old school!  Mix it up!  Carry something colorful, metallic or bold!   Something that grabs the attention of others and screams your confident!
7. Jewelry is an accessory.  Yes there are pricey pieces we own and are proud to wear but every fashionista should own some bold fashion pieces to add fun to any outfit.  Big chunky necklaces or bracelets and large rings are always fun and dress up any dingy outfit.
8. Black IS the essential color to have in your wardrobe. Anyone who knows me knows that I have always worn a lot of black.  Something about wearing black made me feel more confident.  This makes Macy's by dream job because our dress code is all black.  LOVE it!  What I've learned is that you wear black and spice it up by just adding some color.  Scarves are amazing!  They come in a variety of styles, colors and textures and add flair to a black top.  You can dress up a plain old black t-shirt by simply throwing a great scarf over your shoulders.  
9. Every woman wants to feel beautiful! I always find something to compliment a female customer about when I'm helping them.  Being a woman who has/had seriously low self-esteem, I know what a small compliment can do.  Every woman is beautiful in their own way.  You just have to help them find it.   It took me a long time to find something about myself that I liked or thought was beautiful but the shopping public has helped me in that way.  Just a small compliment makes my day so I've learned to pay it forward and help other women feel good about themselves.  
10. I can stand in heels for eight hours while working!  This is HUGE for me!  I hate heels.  Yes my feet hurt at the end of the day but by wearing them, my posture is better and my confidence greater! 

I'm sure I could come  up with even more tidbits but ten points work well and leaves the opportunity for another post at another time!

Literary Wonders lead to Life Changing Moments

 We have finally said good-bye to 2011!  Praise the Lord!  It was a rough year and definitely one that I'm glad is over but truly thankful for every lesson learned.


There is so much to I could go on about but I'm going to choose to touch on the incredible highlights and positive memories of 2011 this week.


In 2011, I spent A LOT of time in a variety of different bookstores.  Barnes and Noble, being one,  became a second home for me. I spent countless time sitting on the floor reading through books and having great theological discussions with my best friend. Today I want to share a few of the array of books I have had the privilege of reading this past year.  They are books that have literally changed my life as well as my walk. (You will see a theme as you scan over the books I've read.  I kind of had a favorite author this past year)

• When God Whispers Your Name- Max Lucado
• Do you find it hard to believe that the One who made everything keeps your name on His heart and on His lips? Did you realize that your name is written on the hand of God (Is. 49:16)? Perhaps you've never seen your name honored. And you can't remember when you heard it spoken with kindness. In this book, Lucado offers the inspiration to believe that God has already bought the ticket-with your name on it.
• I started off 2011 with this book in my hand.  It forever changed my view of how God saw me and thought of me.  It was heart changing!
• In the Eye of the Storm- Max Lucado
• Come face-to-face with Jesus when He experienced more stress than any other day of his life aside from his crucifixion. Before the morning became evening, he has reason to weep, run, shout, curse, praise, and doubt. If you know what it means to be caught in life's storms…if you've ever ridden the roller coaster of sorrow and celebration…if you've ever wondered if God in heaven can relate to you on earth, then this book will encourage and inspire you.
• This book should be self explanatory. If Christ endured the cross for me then surely I can endure any hardship and storm without doubting His love and faithfulness.
• He Still Moves Stones_Max Lucado
• Why does the Bible contain so many stories of hurting people? Though their situations vary, their conditions don't. They have nowhere to turn. Yet before their eyes stands a never-say-die Galilean who majors in stepping in when everyone else steps out. Lucado reminds us that the purpose of these portraits isn't to tell us what Jesus did-but rather to remind us what Jesus still does.
• This book was AMAZING!  It inspired me and reminded me that I have a purpose and that God has a plan!
• A Gentle Thunder- Max Lucado
• How far do you want God to go in getting your attention?
  Don't answer too quickly. Give it some thought.
  What if God moved you to another land? As he did Abraham. What if he called you out of retirement? Remember Moses? How about the voice of an angel or the bowel of a fish? A la Gideon and Jonah. How about a promotion like Daniel's or a demotion like Samson's?
  God does what it takes to get our attention.
  It's the message of the Bible. It's the message of this book: the relentless pursuit of God. God on the hunt. God in the search. Peeking under the bed for hiding kids, stirring the bushes for lost sheep. Searching, wrestling, pulling us back to him, over and over again.
  Kind, then stern. Tender and tough. Faithfully firm. Patiently urgent. Eagerly tolerant. Softly shouting. Gently thundering.
  God is the pilot and we are the passengers. Though we may not understand his hand, we can always trust his heart. We can trust him to do what's right.
• This book was amazing!  Sometimes in the middle of our storms it is so loud we become lost.  IT becomes difficult to hear God's voice because of the chaos but I have learned that He will do whatever is necessary in order to get my attention!
• Never Give Up! - Joyce Meyer
• Joyce Meyer is probably better equipped than anyone when it comes to never giving up. She overcame an abused childhood, a bad marriage and extremely limited opportunities to become one of the most popular author/speakers in the world. Joyce Meyer Ministries was the first ministry in America to be headed by a woman, and it's one of the largest in the world. If anyone knows how to hold on to a dream and realize it, it's her. Packed with examples of people who pursued their goals relentlessly, the book profiles nearly fifty individuals who prevailed against all odds. From the builder of the Brooklyn Bridge to the chemists who invented Post-It notes we meet people like Bessie Coleman, an African-American who had to go to flight school in Paris in order to learn how to fly. But she did, becoming the first woman in America to earn her pilot's license in 1920.
• My mom bought me this book three years ago.  For two and a half it sat on my side table where it belonged until God pressed upon my heart the need to dive in and read this book.  Little did my mom know that one day this book would change my faith and  my ability to fight through the strength of Christ and Christ alone.
• And the Angels were Silent- Max Lucado
• In And the Angels Were Silent, one of Max Lucado's most insightful and moving  book ever, he'll lead you from Friday's defeat to Sunday's victory. Like never before, believers and seekers alike will see Christ's passion, sense His power, and hear His promise.
• This book served as a reminder to me that no matter how final things seem to appear, God ALWAYS has the victory!  He alone control all things and is faithful to His promises!!
• In the Grip of Grace-Max Lucado
• SAFE IN HIS ARMS
  LIFE IS FULL OF FUMBLES AND STUMBLES. Fraught with opportunities to make mistakes, occasions to feel guilty, and the drive to "do it yourself." The pressure to be self-sufficient is high, but it isn't the life God offers.
  The way of the world will direct you to try harder and work smarter so that you can take care of yourself and even make yourself successful. But the way of the cross will point toward the place where you stop striving...stop pushing...stop every self-initiated effort—so that you can fall into the boundless, liberating, refreshing grace of God!
  Just imagine being love-driven instead of self-propelled. Imagine abandoning your life to Jesus instead of trying to save yourself. Can you imagine exchanging your fears for the peace that passes understanding? Being relaxed and free instead of stressed out and anxious? If you can imagine enjoying God instead of trying to repay him, then you can imagine grace.
  So go ahead! jump off the cliff of self-sufficiency. Leap out of legalism. Walk off the pier of guilt and condemnation. That's the only way you'll land in the strong arms of the Father who loves you...the Father who catches you—everytime—in the grip of his grace.
• I have spent years living the lie of legalism.  I was beaten down by the condemnation of those around me and lost sight of my Heavenly Father.  I felt I had to live life on my own and without making any mistakes because I thought you had to "earn" love.  I only fell and I fell hard.  Praise God, He was there to catch me!  Praise God, He picked me up and wiped away the tears! Praise God, He has lavished me with His love and grace and given me a new life!
• So You don't Want to go to Church Anymore-Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman
• So this was the only work of fiction I finished all the way through this year and let me just say that out of every book I read, this IS a much read.  If you've been hurt by a church or disappointed by the dealings of what is happening within the walls of your church, you have to read this book.  You will walk away with an entirely different view of God's ideal church.  
• Heaven is for Real-Todd Burpo
• This is a must read as well!  The view of heaven and Jesus through the eyes of a child.  This is a true story written by the father of Colton, a little boy who died and saw heaven.  It brought me to tears but made me excited for heaven!  READ IT!

• Crazy Love-Francis Chan
• God is love.  Crazy, relentless, all-powerful love.  Have you ever wondered if we're missing it? It's crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe—the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor—loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether you've verbalized it yet or not, we all know something's wrong. Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don'ts-it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same. Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything.
• Crazy!  This book is crazy in a good way!  After experiencing the heartache and betrayal of people that I thought loved and cared about me I began to doubt God's love as well.  Thankfully I stumbled upon this book when I read the status of a friend on Facebook and thought I would give it a read.  If you have ever questioned God's love for you then I highly recommend this book!
• How Good is Good enough- Andy Stanley
• Surely there's more than one way to get to heaven? Bestselling author Andy Stanley addresses this popular belief held even among Christians. But believing that all good people go to heaven raises major problems, Stanley reveals. Is goodness not rewarded, then? Is Christianity not fair? Maybe not, he says. Readers will find out why Jesus taught that goodness is not even a requirement to enter heaven - and why Christianity is beyond fair. Andy Stanley leads believers and skeptics alike to a grateful awareness of God's enormous grace and mercy. Good People Go to Heaven...Don’t They? Sure they do. It only makes sense. Actually, it doesn’t really make any sense at all. Smart, educated, accomplished men and women everywhere are banking their eternities on a theory that doesn’t hold water. Chances are, you’ve never really thought it through. But you owe it to yourself to do so.
• I wish I could buy this book and pass it out to everyone.  So many people walk around with the attitude that life isn't fair.  After the misguided Rob Bell book this is a refreshing read that will give you some real food for thought.  Definitely word the read and a great book for churches to hand out to their members

So much more than meets the eye...

The other day I heard that it had been said that the things happening in my life are punishment for bad choices. I have found it interesting over the past couple of years the number of people in my life who are much like the friends that Job had to deal with.  Always looking at the glass half empty.  Their thinking is that if you are experiencing a storm with mountains of hurt, you must be living wrong. 

Sometimes I wonder what Bible those type of thinkers are reading.  I wonder what they are being taught in their churches.  I wonder what dark roads they have experienced.

I was rereading things that have occurred in my life over the past year and am encouraged.  You see, I was scared of 2011 because 2010 had been horrible.  I could not see the "silver lining."  There just did not seem like there would ever be an end to the heartache and pain.  This past year has not been pain free.  What it has been is an incredible journey where I have experienced God, seen Him provide, watched Him work miracles and been given some amazing friendships.

Last year the song That’s what faith can do was a popular song on the Christian radio stations.  It was a song that each time it played; I prayed that God would allow me to experience Him in such miraculous ways.  Guess what?  He answered my prayer.

For those who say that “my hell” was my own doing, so be it.  To you I say, you are missing the AMAZINGNESS of God. My personal hell has been hard.  Much of it caused by the evil of others but yes, I have fallen along the way too but been picked up by God each time. He has held me close in His arms and healed the broken places. I would not trade a moment of the past few years of my life.  I asked God for the chance to know Him better, to see Him move in my life and allow me the chance to experience miracles and He answered my prayer.  I would NOT change a thing.

For those skeptics, you need to know that before I took my first breath, my story was written.  God has not been surprised by a moment of my life.  He knew how every day of my life would unfold.  It was however, up to me as to how I would respond to each event.  There were times I got lost and could not find Him but He would then reveal Himself in my life in ways that you might now understand.  Those who believe that others who suffer do so at their own doing are missing just what faith can do.  Job was tested.  God allowed Satan to test the faith of Job.  He experienced his own hell but in the end, God blessed Him beyond measure for His faithfulness.

I am learning that people like to talk.  People like to judge.  People like to pick apart the lives of other people missing the flaws in their own life but those people are missing the most important thing in life.  They are missing the opportunity to glorify God through their lives and missing divine opportunities for a huge growth in their faith. 

So here is where I am left standing.  It has been over two months since I have received any form of financial help.  I have been left to provide for every need of five children and myself on my own. I make a little more than minimum wage but do you know what?  We have yet to go hungry.  We have yet to go without water, hot or cold.  We have yet to go without heat and electricity.  I have yet to run out of gas on the side of the rode. I wake every morning with a new outlook on life.  Instead of stressing over the bill that is due in a week, I focus on the day ahead.  I think about the previous days and the ways in which God has provided and am reminded of His faithfulness. We have yet to go without anything. The food, the money, the need is always provided.

I was not sure how Christmas would turn out this year but I knew in my heart there was no need to be anxious.  Up to this point God has provided all we have needed and I knew He would not stop now. Yesterday we experienced one of those miraculous days.  A local church Sunday school class provided bags and bags of groceries.  There were groceries for baking, there was a ham for Christmas day and so so so much more.  Today I came home to find two huge boxes filled with presents at the front door.  Everything is coming together and I am quite certain that this will in fact be the best Christmas my kids and I have ever experienced. 

God is truly with us.  He provides and blesses when we seek and love Him with all of our heart, soul and strength.  God is good!

That's What Faith Can Do- Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try

Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Extra bit of love

Christmas will different in our home this year.  My kiddos won't be getting the loads of gifts they have received in the past.  This is not a bad thing.

Last year on Christmas morning I took two of my five into downtown Raleigh to pass out shoes to those in need.  It was a morning that changed Christmas for me.

I have always had the desire to spend my holidays serving, ministering and loving on others. I have longed for the opportunity to share that with my children and to serve as a family.  I have longed to see that in the hearts of my children.  It is happening.

The two that helped last year have repeatedly asked if we would be helping again this year.  Huge smiles for mom along with the added bonus of a warm heart.  Two of the other kiddos who missed the opportunity last year are excited to be a part this year.  Yay!

Last year changed the hearts of the two that helped.  After seeing children on Christmas morning who were thrilled to be receiving new shoes, their gifts back home didn't seem quite as important.  You see I purposely did not allow them to open all their gifts before we left Christmas morning as we were waiting for the return of their siblings in order to have Christmas as a family.  When leaving the house that morning, they were not overly thrilled about going but once we returned home from passing out shoes, their interests were not as great in the presents found under the tree.

There is a reason we are called to serve.  There is a reason we are called to love.  Happiness does not come from stuff.  My children have spent years being given all that their little hearts desired but were never truly happy.  My goal has now become to teach them to fill their hearts with Jesus and loving others. There and only there will they find their true happiness.  There is no better way to find happiness then taking the focus off of ourselves and loving on others.

Share your time this Christmas with others who need that extra bit of love.  I promise you will experience great amounts of joy and happiness!

Merry Christmas!

In Memory of...

Today is an emotionally significant day for me.  Today would have been my sixteenth wedding anniversary.

I remember my wedding day.  I remember my dress, the church, and the sights and sounds of Christmas that filled the sanctuary.  It was a day of smiles and laughter. Yet, all day, I was unsure yet resolved.  When entering the limo after the reception, I was struck with a severe migraine and overcome by great feelings of anxiousness.  I walked into married life scared. I walked into married life doubtful of my ability to keep it going for the rest of my life.  Nevertheless, I walked into it.

This week I have asked Jesus to hold me close.  For me, this will be the first year that I will not acknowledge this date as I had in the past but it will be acknowledged. In a season of goodbyes and unraveling, my mindset might seem odd to some.  However, my marriage did mean something.  Every moment was not tear-filled, though many were and even the ones that were, are worth honoring. 

My son asked me a couple of months ago if I wished I could do everything all over again and marry someone else.   My response did not require thought and came quickly.  I would do every moment of it all over again because without their daddy, I would not have the incredible gift of my five kids.  They are the greatest blessing and a great responsibility entrusted to me by God.  I have no regrets.  Because of my spouse and the journey we have taken, I am a changed person.  

With all that said, I am choosing to honor my marriage today.  I am choosing to reminisce over the sweeter times and choosing to pray for my spouse and my children.  I’m going to allow today to remind me that good did indeed come from the hard, that I have five beautiful children from our time together, that Jesus was ever-present in each memory, and that marriage always was and always will be designed as a sweet gift.  So I am choosing gratefulness in spite of the pain. 

A new chapter in my life begins now.  I have a fresh start and the ability to replace the pain with new relationships, experiences and memories.  God is good and has been so incredibly faithful throughout my journey.  I know He has something exciting planned for my life.  Today I will put to rest the last chapter in a twenty-year story and begin writing a new one. 

Jesus lives in mommy's house

"We fulfill what we were "meant to be" when God is "recognizable" in our lifestyle."
-Beth Moore, Breaking Free

As a mom, there is nothing more incredible than the warmth of a hug from one of your kids followed by I love you.  At least I used to think there was nothing more incredible until I overheard my kids talking.


The kids and I did not celebrate a traditional Thanksgiving this year as they were not with me.  Instead,  I fixed a special dinner for them on Saturday night.  It was kids choice.  No turkey or mashed potatos but instead the things they "love" that only mom can make.  Everyone was in the kitchen playing a part in the preparation of our feast.  From crescent rolls to chocoalte pie we cooked, laughed and played all hungry at the smell of food stirring in the kitchen.  As I was putting clothes into the dryer down the hall, I overheard my ten year old tell my eight year old that "Jesus lives in mommy's house".  I stopped what I was doing as tears streamed down my face.

I have faced a lot of adversity over the past couple of years.  I have spent much time doubting myself as a mom as well as a wife until that moment.  In that moment I was filled with a great sense of peace. Satan spends so much time trying to convince us of our failures that we often begin to believe the lies. I'm learning that there could not be a greater compliment in the world than his opposition in my life.  If he is trying to bring me down it means that I am definitely doing something right.  Those words spoken by my daughter signified that for me.


You see, people can try and bring you down.  They can attempt to take your kids, friends and family away but God is always victorious.  He never loses and because He never loses, I will not lose.  No matter what happens, I have won a million times over because my children know their mom loves Jesus and that He lives in her house.

Give thanks

Giving Thanks Always

“Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:20

There are four types of people. There are those who are constantly complaining and grumbling. Have you met any of these folks? I mean, they can brighten up a room just by leaving it. That’s the lowest level. Then there are others who live lives of ingratitude. They don’t complain, but they never thank God for His obvious blessings. That’s a little better, but not much better. Then there are people who thank God for obvious blessings. When something good happens, they’re grateful. That’s a better level. But the highest level is to be grateful for all things at all times. That is the secret of a happy and productive life.

Bow before the Lord and begin to think about difficult circumstances you’re facing. Now, thank Him for each one.

Adrian Rogers

Thankful

This morning as I made my way to work, I was listening to Bob and the Showgram which is a local morning radio show.  They are in the middle of doing their yearly radiothon for the Pediatric Brain Tumor foundation.  As I turned on the radio I caught the beginning of one of the stories from a mom of a child who suffered with a brain tumor.  As I listened I was well reminded of how incredibly blessed I am.  


Though the past few years have been hard, those years are nothing compared to what many parents face every day with children fighting some form of cancer.  My issues pale in comparison.  


As I drove to work in tears I thanked God for His amazing grace.  Life has been hard but my children are healthy.  Time spent in a court room is nothing when you compare it to the heartache and pain of having to watch your babies suffering and in pain on a hospital bed.  


So today I am thankful...

• For a faithful God who has provided in every way possible in my life.  From His immeasurable grace to His unconditional love and everything in between.
• For the many opportunities in which He has allowed me to see Him move in my life and walked with me as I took such giant leaps of faith. 
• For all five of my awesome kids who are healthy, thriving, very smart and who love me.
• For my incredibly beautiful home which includes a sidewalk lined with rosebushes :-)
• For a job that I couldn't love any more! A place where I can laugh, be myself and relax.
• For all the new friends that God has placed in my life and for the blessing they each have been to me throughout the past few months
• For an incredible church family 
• For my family

God is good and every day He proves to be better than the day before.  Life is hard and we all struggle but once we realize that there is always someone else who is probably struggling much more than ourselves, we are then able to appreciate how truly blessed we are. 

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Reaping and Sowing

I do not believe in Karma but I do work in the secular world where many hold to that way of thinking.  I do however believe that we do, in fact, reap what we sow. Which, I guess, can sound a lot like Karma. 

Anyway I have watched repeatedly as someone does wrong and then questions why things are not going their way.  Apparently there are people in this world that believe that they can lie or make light of the cross and get away with it.  

Not sure if these people are ignorant or plainly just do not care but it is scary.  Why test God?  Why mock His word?  Especially when you claim to believe in Him and claim to believe His truth?  Do you not realize that scripture tells us that "Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it." James 4:17.  Do you understand that sin is a way of mocking God? 

Everyone who declares to be a child of God is held to a standard higher than those who are not.  This means that if we know something is wrong and continue down the path of doing wrong, we are mocking God.  We are asking to be disciplined.

The more I study this subject the more my heart aches.  God is an amazing God.  His love and grace are immeasurable but there are consequences for doing wrong and making light of the sacrifice of His Son. 

Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. 8 Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. 9 So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. 10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.

Galatians 6:7-10

Madame Chiang Kai-shek once wrote:

   "If the past has taught us anything it is that every cause brings its
   effect, every action has a consequence. We Chinese have a saying: "If
   a man plants melons he will reap melons; if he sows beans, he will
   reap beans." And this is true of everyone's life; good begets good,
   and evil leads to evil. True enough, the sun shines on the saint and
   the sinner alike, and too often it seems that the wicked prosper. But
   we can say with certainty that, with the individual as with the
   nation, the flourishing of the wicked is an illusion, for,
   unceasingly, life keeps books on us all. In the end, we are all the
   sum total of our actions. Character cannot be counterfeited, nor can
   it put on and cast off as if it were a garment to meet the whim of
   the moment. Like the markings on wood which are ingrained in the very
   heart of the tree, character requires time and nurturing for growth
   and development. Thus also, day by day, we write our own destiny; for
   inexorably...we become what we do."

Target of the enemy

Please be careful what you spread on Facebook or anywhere else for that matter about another human. I have known and loved Mrs. Briscoe (as well as her family) for over twenty years.  As someone who has just gone through a battle of being accused of things I did not do and the gossip that follows, it is hurtful, destructive and unChrist-like. There are ALWAYS two sides to a story and then the truth. There are also different perspectives as to how a situation unravels. Unless you stood in that room and witnessed the event/events it is all gossip or perspective.

Scripture tells us that the devil came to steal, kill and destroy making Mrs Briscoe the perfect target for the enemy. She is a godly, precious woman who has done great battle for the Kingdom of God and definitely a target of  Satan.  King Soloman said that speaking badly of others could have disastrous effects. It betrays confidence (Prov. 11:13), separates close friends (16:28; 17:9), shames you with a bad reputation (25:9-10), and perpetually fuels the embers of a quarrel (26:20-22). People rarely can undo the damage their untrue words have done to a friend, family member, co-worker and so on. 

Someone's life is trying to be destroyed. I'm only speaking from experience and not trying to attack anyone but we have to pray that truth in this situation be revealed. From my own experience I have learned that God's justice will always prevail.  I do not know the events that transpired, I have only heard gossip and the reports of the media.  I believe that something may have transpired but it is not my place to make a judgement call.  We are to pray for one another and encourage one another.  We are to seek out truth instead of listening to only one side.

When the Israelites were taken as captives to Babylon, Mordecai found himself in this kind of situation. He refused to bow to anyone but God (Esther 3) and this outraged Haman who in turn set out to destroy not only Mordecai but every Jew in the  empire. Haman convinced Xerxes to sign a decree that authorized  the destruction of all Jews. He began building gallows for the execution of Mordecai. But then, God stepped in and there was a great turn of events. Instead of the execution of Mordacai taking place,  Haman was executed on the gallows he had built for Mordecai.  The Jewish people were spared.

This is called poetic justice. Unfortunataly we do not all experience such a dramatic display of justice but scripture promises that God will one day avenge all injustice. It requires patience on our part and waiting for God's timing for the justice to prevail.  We must leave it in His hands. (Rom. 12:19).  He is faithful to protect His children.  

Gossip is a slippery slope.  We have to be so incredibly careful not to get caught up in the drama but instead close our mouths and pray for each person involved.  Let's all pray that God will guard our mouths and instead of speaking ill of someone, we will choose to speak of the good that we know and the God that we serve!

"Your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." ~ Steve Jobs

Our God is relentless. He never ceases His training regimens. He shaves off our hair, He takes away our comfortable and secure lifestyle, He moves us into cramped and unfamiliar quarters, and He changes our circle of friends—it's like we're in a spiritual boot camp!

In the process, He strips us of all our pride! And then He begins to lay the foundation blocks of heroic courage, and a new kind of confidence, if you will—the kind that no longer defends us but defends Him. What a magnificent change that is. And how essential in our journey toward maturity! Again, it's all part of being cut down to size.

Charles Swindoll

The account of David and Goliath vividly pictures the source of the Christian’s faith—not our own size, strength, or resources, but the power of almighty God. If we focus on our opposition and problems, they will seem gigantic. But as we focus on God, we will see our situation in the proper perspective and be assured that all things are possible with God (Phil. 4:13).

Henry Blackaby
Experiencing God